It's been a month. I'm sorry!!! EEK. So bad at this.
Anyway, I hope everyone is enjoying their Autumn. I think I've mentioned before how much I LOVE this beautiful season. Simply beautiful and refreshing in the great state of North Carolina.
Today, I've been pondering my dreams and wishes. Recently, I was given some advice that if you just want a job you should just work at the Gap or Target (or a call center, heh), BUT if you want a career in something you're passionate about, you should pursue with NO reserves. Sigh. Friends, this makes me tear up. God made me with a passion for art and beauty, and helping others enjoy that. I can't explain to you how much I would love to be editing someone's photos this weekend. It's not from lack of desire that I haven't pursued this dream of mine. Perhaps it is lack of resolve or lack of confidence in my abilities. Either way, I'm tired of waiting around for someone to place a complete photography business in my lap, complete with clients and equipment. Not going to happen. Work must be done.
This is one of those things that the Lord will have to do completely. This is a dream that I have to give to Him. I do not want this for personal gain. I want this to glorify Him. This is my heart. I will keep you updated on how this starts shaping up ;)
Health Update: I've lost almost 40 lbs! woot! I feel really great and I haven't gotten sick this season (which is strange)!
ALSO- I'm moving in with my best friend in 5 days. SO. EXCITED. Also, we're getting a cat. His name is Banjo and he has green eyes. :D
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Friday, October 12, 2012
Autumn Bliss
Hello friends! Once again, sorry for the hiatus :/
How bout an update on life? Yea ok. I'm about to move to a gorgeous, ginormous apartment in Briar Creek with my best friend!! I'm beyond excited about this and can't wait to entertain until we're super tired of it...you should all come to visit :) My parents are coming to spend Thanksgiving with me so that will be wonderful! Speaking of food....
I've recently started a great diet/lifestyle program called Grace & Strength. It's pretty extreme and difficult, but it's working :) As of this morning I've lost 19 lbs! I can already tell that I'm starting to understand how I deal with food and what to do about it. I'm sure I'll be sharing more about this in the future!
Somewhat related...going to the State Fair this weekend!! I pretty much can't eat anything there...so prayer for that would be great haha. I can still ride rides and look at crafts :)
Happy Friday!
How bout an update on life? Yea ok. I'm about to move to a gorgeous, ginormous apartment in Briar Creek with my best friend!! I'm beyond excited about this and can't wait to entertain until we're super tired of it...you should all come to visit :) My parents are coming to spend Thanksgiving with me so that will be wonderful! Speaking of food....
I've recently started a great diet/lifestyle program called Grace & Strength. It's pretty extreme and difficult, but it's working :) As of this morning I've lost 19 lbs! I can already tell that I'm starting to understand how I deal with food and what to do about it. I'm sure I'll be sharing more about this in the future!
Somewhat related...going to the State Fair this weekend!! I pretty much can't eat anything there...so prayer for that would be great haha. I can still ride rides and look at crafts :)
Happy Friday!
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Ch..ch..ch..ch..changes!
First off the Color Run was spectatcular. Just take a look at this picture if you don't believe me:
Ridiculous amounts of fun were had. We lined up on Sunday morning, along with thousands of other people dressed in cripy, clean white shirts. Our wave was released around 9:20a or so. I started out jogging and my new friend Karisse ran with me, bless her heart :). After about 3 or 4 min. I had to stop because my body said no. I walked and walked and my wonderful friends were waiting for me at the top of hill. During that walk, I decided I had to make a choice. My body was not going to do what I wanted it to do, which was jog and run and like it. So, I could either be really upset about that, or I could just get over it and enjoy the color. I chose the latter and we had an amazing time. We danced our way through each color zone. Orange, by far, had the best color throwers :)We stopped to take pictures. It was grand. We finished in just under an hour, which was actually my goal. Then we had a big party of color. So fun.
While I was there with my friend Megan and one of her closest friends from college, Karisse, I listened as they each celebrated their newly healthy bodies. I must admit I was jealous, but extremely happy and proud for each of them. But it's something I wanted too. I want to be healthy, and I want to be able to do things that I can't right now. I don't want my knees to stop working, and they will if I don't make changes. Being totally honest here. Because of all this revelation, I'm beginning a new diet next week. Lots of radical changes in eating in the very near future. It's going to be VERY hard, but I'm ready. I'm excited about this program because it's going to deal with the whys of overeating and what to do about that, and how the Gospel answers those deep soul questions. And don't worry, I will keep you updated...hopefully with more pictures :)
Here's my pre-race photo:
Ridiculous amounts of fun were had. We lined up on Sunday morning, along with thousands of other people dressed in cripy, clean white shirts. Our wave was released around 9:20a or so. I started out jogging and my new friend Karisse ran with me, bless her heart :). After about 3 or 4 min. I had to stop because my body said no. I walked and walked and my wonderful friends were waiting for me at the top of hill. During that walk, I decided I had to make a choice. My body was not going to do what I wanted it to do, which was jog and run and like it. So, I could either be really upset about that, or I could just get over it and enjoy the color. I chose the latter and we had an amazing time. We danced our way through each color zone. Orange, by far, had the best color throwers :)We stopped to take pictures. It was grand. We finished in just under an hour, which was actually my goal. Then we had a big party of color. So fun.
While I was there with my friend Megan and one of her closest friends from college, Karisse, I listened as they each celebrated their newly healthy bodies. I must admit I was jealous, but extremely happy and proud for each of them. But it's something I wanted too. I want to be healthy, and I want to be able to do things that I can't right now. I don't want my knees to stop working, and they will if I don't make changes. Being totally honest here. Because of all this revelation, I'm beginning a new diet next week. Lots of radical changes in eating in the very near future. It's going to be VERY hard, but I'm ready. I'm excited about this program because it's going to deal with the whys of overeating and what to do about that, and how the Gospel answers those deep soul questions. And don't worry, I will keep you updated...hopefully with more pictures :)
Here's my pre-race photo:
Friday, September 7, 2012
Ugly Colorful Pride
Thought it was time for an update. I was right. First of all, NYC was incredible, and I can't wait to go back. I enjoyed the trip with my 2 best friends. So great. Our first day there we hopped on the subway from Brooklyn into Manhattan and both my friends commented on how my face was completely lit up. Words can't express how much that city means to me. Anywho, on to other things :)
On Sunday, I'm "running" in the Color Run in D.C. with some good friends. For the last few months, I was supposed to be training for this. Some where in the middle, my knees got mad at me and then I came up with a few more excuses. I always have excuses. What has this lead to? Me not being able to run very far...at. all. Sad, I know. You may say, but Jenny, this is just the Color Run...it's supposed to be fun. And you're right. It is, and it will be. It's not even timed. My friends have all told me not to worry. We're gonna take our time and just have fun. Okay. But I know myself, and if you know me well, you know that I'm not okay with this.
I'm full of pride and self pity (which is more pride by the way). I want to be able to run and run well and get color thrown on me while running. Sounds ridiculous as I type it out. But it's true. What does this say about my heart? It says that I expect perfection of myself. This perfection just isn't possible. Because I'm human.
When I hit this point I should be calling on the Lord to drive me through. Is this what I do? Of course not, because that would require asking for help, and admitting that I can't do it. Ick. So ugly. Inadvertently, this is like telling Christ that His grace and love and mercy and goodness and forgiveness, all of that, isn't good enough for me. That it's not enough for me. Not truth. So, what is the truth?
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. - 2 Corinthians 12:8-10
So, I'm trying to boast in my weakness. Look how badly I run!! Lol. I'm just kidding, but really. I need help in this area. I pray for myself that my heart is turned toward His grace and power, and not toward my own pride and measley accomplishment.
I'm promising you all that I will have fun. I'll take pictures to prove it. :)
On Sunday, I'm "running" in the Color Run in D.C. with some good friends. For the last few months, I was supposed to be training for this. Some where in the middle, my knees got mad at me and then I came up with a few more excuses. I always have excuses. What has this lead to? Me not being able to run very far...at. all. Sad, I know. You may say, but Jenny, this is just the Color Run...it's supposed to be fun. And you're right. It is, and it will be. It's not even timed. My friends have all told me not to worry. We're gonna take our time and just have fun. Okay. But I know myself, and if you know me well, you know that I'm not okay with this.
I'm full of pride and self pity (which is more pride by the way). I want to be able to run and run well and get color thrown on me while running. Sounds ridiculous as I type it out. But it's true. What does this say about my heart? It says that I expect perfection of myself. This perfection just isn't possible. Because I'm human.
When I hit this point I should be calling on the Lord to drive me through. Is this what I do? Of course not, because that would require asking for help, and admitting that I can't do it. Ick. So ugly. Inadvertently, this is like telling Christ that His grace and love and mercy and goodness and forgiveness, all of that, isn't good enough for me. That it's not enough for me. Not truth. So, what is the truth?
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. - 2 Corinthians 12:8-10
So, I'm trying to boast in my weakness. Look how badly I run!! Lol. I'm just kidding, but really. I need help in this area. I pray for myself that my heart is turned toward His grace and power, and not toward my own pride and measley accomplishment.
I'm promising you all that I will have fun. I'll take pictures to prove it. :)
Monday, July 16, 2012
New York Pipe Dreams
I leave to visit the great city of New York in 3 days. I can't begin to express how excited I am. My heart has been pulled there for some time now. I'll get to share and experience this great city again, this time with my 2 best friends. I'm hoping and praying that this time will be filled with encouragement and fun. I have no doubts in fact, that it will be.
I still have dreams to live in this great city and share Jesus with those I come across. Why NYC? This city could arguably be the most influential city in the world. The culture, especially American culture, flows from it. What better place to be a light and influence? I have no doubt that the Lord has placed this city on my heart. I still don't know what that means for my future. Do I hope to end up there one day? More than anything!
I ask for your prayers this week. Pray that I will guard my heart against covetousness. Pray that I will be satisfied in Christ alone and that I do not have to live in this city to make a difference. Pray that I will be challenged in my calling and also reaffirmed in it. Pray that I will pray for the people of the city. I will have an awesome update when I return! Until then, for your viewing pleasure:
This is me in Central Park, the last time I visited in Fall of 2010. :)
I still have dreams to live in this great city and share Jesus with those I come across. Why NYC? This city could arguably be the most influential city in the world. The culture, especially American culture, flows from it. What better place to be a light and influence? I have no doubt that the Lord has placed this city on my heart. I still don't know what that means for my future. Do I hope to end up there one day? More than anything!
I ask for your prayers this week. Pray that I will guard my heart against covetousness. Pray that I will be satisfied in Christ alone and that I do not have to live in this city to make a difference. Pray that I will be challenged in my calling and also reaffirmed in it. Pray that I will pray for the people of the city. I will have an awesome update when I return! Until then, for your viewing pleasure:
This is me in Central Park, the last time I visited in Fall of 2010. :)
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Dare
I'm being dared by the Savior, Creator of the world to fall madly in love. In fact, his dare is so powerful he doesn't have to triple dog dare me. No, it's a simple, "hey, try me." with the head nod and all. At least, that's what I picture. My heart is SO distracted by menial worldly things. I'm borrowing this quote from a phenomenal blog post that resulted in this outpouring. Check it out here.
Here's the quote:
“I am going to drown in this sucky place of never getting what I long for. You keep saying these things about abundant life … whatever that is, I don’t have it. There’s more to You. If it is true and You mean it, then BE IT. If there isn’t, then You lied and I am screwed. So. Here goes, God. I am going to fast all other pleasures to see if YOU, God, can become my all-time, all-consuming pleasure. I am tired of this life and what it pretends to have. I want the REAL. Will You be my Lover, Lord???”
Am I desperate enough to do this? Yea, I think so. Why? Because all of those so-called pleasures of the world are not actually pleasurable. Sure, I could keep lying to myself and pretend that this over here will keep me occupied for a few days and I might feel a sense of belonging and loving. But it pales in comparison to the "all-consuming pleasure of God.
Paul seems to put this in perspective: They will be … “lovers of pleasure rather than God. They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly. … They are the kind of people who work their way into peoples homes and win the confidence of vulnerable women who are burdened with the guilt of sin and controlled by various desires. Such women are forever following new teachings, but they are never able to understand the truth” (2 Tim. 3:4-7).
I don't know about you, but that verse scares me. Outward behavior can only last so long. The heart catches up and reveals who we really are, what we really love. So just saying no to those worldly pleasures, doesn't really work. I know this first hand. Yes, we put off, but then we MUST put ON.
"You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore." Psalm 16:11
He is enough. More than enough in fact. Much more than I could ever hope to handle. Oh that I would be consumed. Pray that I'll take the challenge of the Dare. I hope you do too.
Love always.
Here's the quote:
“I am going to drown in this sucky place of never getting what I long for. You keep saying these things about abundant life … whatever that is, I don’t have it. There’s more to You. If it is true and You mean it, then BE IT. If there isn’t, then You lied and I am screwed. So. Here goes, God. I am going to fast all other pleasures to see if YOU, God, can become my all-time, all-consuming pleasure. I am tired of this life and what it pretends to have. I want the REAL. Will You be my Lover, Lord???”
Am I desperate enough to do this? Yea, I think so. Why? Because all of those so-called pleasures of the world are not actually pleasurable. Sure, I could keep lying to myself and pretend that this over here will keep me occupied for a few days and I might feel a sense of belonging and loving. But it pales in comparison to the "all-consuming pleasure of God.
Paul seems to put this in perspective: They will be … “lovers of pleasure rather than God. They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly. … They are the kind of people who work their way into peoples homes and win the confidence of vulnerable women who are burdened with the guilt of sin and controlled by various desires. Such women are forever following new teachings, but they are never able to understand the truth” (2 Tim. 3:4-7).
I don't know about you, but that verse scares me. Outward behavior can only last so long. The heart catches up and reveals who we really are, what we really love. So just saying no to those worldly pleasures, doesn't really work. I know this first hand. Yes, we put off, but then we MUST put ON.
"You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore." Psalm 16:11
He is enough. More than enough in fact. Much more than I could ever hope to handle. Oh that I would be consumed. Pray that I'll take the challenge of the Dare. I hope you do too.
Love always.
Thursday, June 28, 2012
ScriptureDoodle
Happy Thursday!
Update on the letter: I must tell you that I have not written my letter. I feel I must apologize, because I told all of you I would write it last weekend and it just didn't happen. The goal is Saturday. I know once I sit down the words and thoughts will flow. Perhaps I will share a snippit once it is written.
In other news, I saw something today on Instagram, a challenge if you will. One of my distant friends, Julie Plunk had posted a #scripturedoodle. I was intrigued. It was guided by a letter of the day and corresponding verses and of course doodling. After some investigating I found the origin here .
The basics of Scripture Doodling combine meditating on Scripture while using the wonderful skill of doodling. This sounded wonderful to me. I know the plan on the main website actually started a few days ago, but I think I'm going to start on July 1st with the letter A. I'll be sharing my creations on Instagram, username Jennybar17.
Health update: Eek is all I have to say. Well, not really. I go to the nutrionist tomorrow after a 5 week stint of doing this on my own. It has not gone well. There were several days where I just ate what I wanted, and the majority of the days I did not track my food. Exercise has been on track, however the past 2 weeks have kicked my tail. Last night I laid on my living room floor and told my roommate that I didn't think I'd be able to run the whole thing by September. Tiffany was encouraging and said that I should just do the best that I can and that is enough, but she also said to keep my goal in mind. I can do that.
Anyway, I hope you all have a lovely day. Mine is filled with a 9 hr. workday, trip to Target for new doodle pens :) and a massage!
Love always.
Update on the letter: I must tell you that I have not written my letter. I feel I must apologize, because I told all of you I would write it last weekend and it just didn't happen. The goal is Saturday. I know once I sit down the words and thoughts will flow. Perhaps I will share a snippit once it is written.
In other news, I saw something today on Instagram, a challenge if you will. One of my distant friends, Julie Plunk had posted a #scripturedoodle. I was intrigued. It was guided by a letter of the day and corresponding verses and of course doodling. After some investigating I found the origin here .
The basics of Scripture Doodling combine meditating on Scripture while using the wonderful skill of doodling. This sounded wonderful to me. I know the plan on the main website actually started a few days ago, but I think I'm going to start on July 1st with the letter A. I'll be sharing my creations on Instagram, username Jennybar17.
Health update: Eek is all I have to say. Well, not really. I go to the nutrionist tomorrow after a 5 week stint of doing this on my own. It has not gone well. There were several days where I just ate what I wanted, and the majority of the days I did not track my food. Exercise has been on track, however the past 2 weeks have kicked my tail. Last night I laid on my living room floor and told my roommate that I didn't think I'd be able to run the whole thing by September. Tiffany was encouraging and said that I should just do the best that I can and that is enough, but she also said to keep my goal in mind. I can do that.
Anyway, I hope you all have a lovely day. Mine is filled with a 9 hr. workday, trip to Target for new doodle pens :) and a massage!
Love always.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Hurry Up and Wait
Hello Friends!
It's Thursday, which means tomorrow is Friday, which means the weekend is CLOSE. :)
Recently I had a meeting with the Dean at seminary. We talked about me coming back to school. He kept saying over and over how no one has ever done this before. To the pessimist this does not sound good. But, his point was that everyone who has ever been expelled didn't want to come back, much less did they try. He was overjoyed that I wanted to try. Unfortunately, admission is not up to him. I do however, have to write a letter explaining why I want to come back and finish. And my reasoning can't just simply be to finish, as much as I want to haha :)
So begins my gifting of procrastination. I do well in this area. I've spent the last week mulling over why I want to go back to school. It would be easy for me to spin a well written explanation of reasons why and make it sound really really good. I don't want to do this. I want to be truthful. The truth of the matter is, I don't have to finish my degree to be able to serve in ministry. I've been serving in ministry without one. What's my ministry you ask? Well currently I have a job in the "real world." Ministry experience is an understatement.
My dream has always been to move to NYC and "do" ministry there. Do I need a degree to do that? Nope. Would it be nice to have it? Yep. I lack 9 hrs- 3 of those being a practicum, aka, a mission trip with book reviews :) So, you see my conundrum...I've assigned myself to write this letter this weekend. Comments and suggestions are appreciated :)
After I write said letter, I send it to the Dean. He then writes one back giving me official permission to apply for school, starting classes in January. Life is coming at me so fast, yet so slow. Hurry up and wait has become my personal motto I think. God knows the plans He has for me. In fact, He made them. And He is never surprised by anything.
Also in the back of my mind is how in the world to start up a photography business. I've done some photos here and there of friends and family. I guess I just need to do this more and more. Maybe make a webpage. Buy new lenses ($$$). Lots involved. Also, I know nothing of running a business. Photo journalism is also in the back of my head. This was my intended purpose of getting a photography degree. Tell a story through photos. Unfortunately, it's a dying career. Everyone has a camera and everyone is telling their own story. I'm not giving up though. Like I said, hurry up and wait.
It's Thursday, which means tomorrow is Friday, which means the weekend is CLOSE. :)
Recently I had a meeting with the Dean at seminary. We talked about me coming back to school. He kept saying over and over how no one has ever done this before. To the pessimist this does not sound good. But, his point was that everyone who has ever been expelled didn't want to come back, much less did they try. He was overjoyed that I wanted to try. Unfortunately, admission is not up to him. I do however, have to write a letter explaining why I want to come back and finish. And my reasoning can't just simply be to finish, as much as I want to haha :)
So begins my gifting of procrastination. I do well in this area. I've spent the last week mulling over why I want to go back to school. It would be easy for me to spin a well written explanation of reasons why and make it sound really really good. I don't want to do this. I want to be truthful. The truth of the matter is, I don't have to finish my degree to be able to serve in ministry. I've been serving in ministry without one. What's my ministry you ask? Well currently I have a job in the "real world." Ministry experience is an understatement.
My dream has always been to move to NYC and "do" ministry there. Do I need a degree to do that? Nope. Would it be nice to have it? Yep. I lack 9 hrs- 3 of those being a practicum, aka, a mission trip with book reviews :) So, you see my conundrum...I've assigned myself to write this letter this weekend. Comments and suggestions are appreciated :)
After I write said letter, I send it to the Dean. He then writes one back giving me official permission to apply for school, starting classes in January. Life is coming at me so fast, yet so slow. Hurry up and wait has become my personal motto I think. God knows the plans He has for me. In fact, He made them. And He is never surprised by anything.
Also in the back of my mind is how in the world to start up a photography business. I've done some photos here and there of friends and family. I guess I just need to do this more and more. Maybe make a webpage. Buy new lenses ($$$). Lots involved. Also, I know nothing of running a business. Photo journalism is also in the back of my head. This was my intended purpose of getting a photography degree. Tell a story through photos. Unfortunately, it's a dying career. Everyone has a camera and everyone is telling their own story. I'm not giving up though. Like I said, hurry up and wait.
Friday, June 15, 2012
Happy Friday!!
"Everybody's workin' for the weekend!" I feel that I've truly been living this song. It's a little sad and hilarious. Weekends are so wonderful. So full of rest, relaxation, and fun :) This weekend in particular, I get to see a certain little Mister. Colton Drew- my precious 1 yr. old nephew. I also love spending time with his amazing parents, Andrew and Sarah. Promises to be a weekend to remember.
Other updates:
-I might get to go back to school in January!! This is wonderful news and I'm really excited to possibly have the opportunity to finish.
-Workout(s) this week were wonderful- It's an easy week. Basically, these weeks give my body a chance to rest/recover from the shock of running. Next week, it's back to the intensified intervals.
-Food: As soon as I sent that sample menu to you guys, I stopped following it. Bleh. I apologize and feel guilty for this. It seems that when I become confident in my ability to follow this, that is when I stumble. Christ is made perfect in my weakness (2 Cor. 12:9a). I cannot give up. Today I fit into a pair of pants that I haven't worn in over a year. I have no idea how much I've lost or if I have, but my clothes are fitting better. This is enough evidence for me!
One of these days, I'll start putting up pictures along with my posts. Blogs are always more fun with pictures. I hope and pray everyone has a great weekend!!
Love always.
Other updates:
-I might get to go back to school in January!! This is wonderful news and I'm really excited to possibly have the opportunity to finish.
-Workout(s) this week were wonderful- It's an easy week. Basically, these weeks give my body a chance to rest/recover from the shock of running. Next week, it's back to the intensified intervals.
-Food: As soon as I sent that sample menu to you guys, I stopped following it. Bleh. I apologize and feel guilty for this. It seems that when I become confident in my ability to follow this, that is when I stumble. Christ is made perfect in my weakness (2 Cor. 12:9a). I cannot give up. Today I fit into a pair of pants that I haven't worn in over a year. I have no idea how much I've lost or if I have, but my clothes are fitting better. This is enough evidence for me!
One of these days, I'll start putting up pictures along with my posts. Blogs are always more fun with pictures. I hope and pray everyone has a great weekend!!
Love always.
Monday, June 11, 2012
Sweet Summer Health
So sorry about the hiatus...once again. My bad. I feel like I'm beginning every post this way. Terrible. Anywho, I hope everyone is doing well, and if not, I hope you remember how good and faithful our God is :) It's been a good past few weeks. For those that don't know I've started to see a nutritionist. She's awesome. She seemed to catch on to the fact immediately that I don't deal well with people telling me what to do and has so far let me determine what I should do....or at least she made me think I'm deciding all of it...oh, she's good! HA! So that's going well...no more late night milkshake runs..so that's an improvement. What's with the turn around you might ask? Well, the Word talks about the body quite a bit. It's not just something we have right now. It will in fact be with us forever, granted God will be redeeming it, but He has given us this 'vessel' to steward over. Why respect the body? Well for one God made it, and we should be respecting and honoring whatever God has made. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says, "Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body." Our bodies don't actually belong to us, they belong to the Lord. We have a responsibility to take care of them. Every time I eat healthy or exercise or make a good decision about what I put in my mouth, God sees this as beautiful worship. When put in this light, it's a little bit easier to do what I'm supposed to do and not just what I want. Along this same line, my friend Erin has written me a running training plan. Crazy right? I'll be running a 5K in September as long as I stick to it!! So excited. It's called The Color Run. Look it up...it's epic. I'm on Week 4 with this plan and I can definitely tell a difference!
Next up...something slightly off topic. My favorite reality show is on this summer: So You Think You Can Dance. So great! Watching last week, I was trying to figure out why I love it so much. I think it is because it's such a beautiful expression of art and I certainly appreciate art. Dancing is something I've wanted to do for awhile...and not just ballroom or swing, but something that is truly expressive. So many emotions and feelings can be expressed through dance. One of my dreams/goals for my healthy self is to learn some basic techniques of dance: ballet, maybe some contemporary, who knows? Seeing that beauty in dance and seeing how God has gifted certain individuals, truly makes me greatful of how creative our God is. Helps me understand more of who He is. Ok, ok, that's enough of my creativity tirade ;) I thought I'd end this post with a sampling of what I've been eating lately, just some of my normal dinners...in case you're wondering! :)
Love Always!
Monday: Chikfila Salad! (small group night)
Tuesday: Feta Burgers with Side Salad and corn
Wednesday: Baked Tilapia with Coleslaw and Quinua salad
Thursday: Whole Wheat Penne with Chicken, crushed tomatoes, and garlic sauce with salad
Friday: On the road (driving to see my Bro and SIL and Colton in Baltimore :))
Next up...something slightly off topic. My favorite reality show is on this summer: So You Think You Can Dance. So great! Watching last week, I was trying to figure out why I love it so much. I think it is because it's such a beautiful expression of art and I certainly appreciate art. Dancing is something I've wanted to do for awhile...and not just ballroom or swing, but something that is truly expressive. So many emotions and feelings can be expressed through dance. One of my dreams/goals for my healthy self is to learn some basic techniques of dance: ballet, maybe some contemporary, who knows? Seeing that beauty in dance and seeing how God has gifted certain individuals, truly makes me greatful of how creative our God is. Helps me understand more of who He is. Ok, ok, that's enough of my creativity tirade ;) I thought I'd end this post with a sampling of what I've been eating lately, just some of my normal dinners...in case you're wondering! :)
Love Always!
Monday: Chikfila Salad! (small group night)
Tuesday: Feta Burgers with Side Salad and corn
Wednesday: Baked Tilapia with Coleslaw and Quinua salad
Thursday: Whole Wheat Penne with Chicken, crushed tomatoes, and garlic sauce with salad
Friday: On the road (driving to see my Bro and SIL and Colton in Baltimore :))
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Barket List
Many of my friends have made Bucket Lists and I want to make one too. This might be ongoing, but I'll try to do an all inclusive post today. I've decided to call my Bucket List the Barket List, for obvious reasons. Much more fun and personal that way :) So let's dive right in!
-live in a big city
-swim in all 4 oceans
-visit 6 out of the 7 continents
-snorkel in the Great Barrier Reef
-see Niagara Falls
-see the Eiffel Tower
-learn to surf
-get married
-give birth
-run a 5k
-do a triathlon (mini)
-go to the Olympics in a different country
-help plant a church
-get a tattoo
-be in a flash mob
-visit all 50 states
-learn to snowboard
-see the Holy Land
-go on a legit safari in Africa with camping and all
-get my Masters
-become a successful photo journalist
That's all for now...like I said, when I think of other things I will add them! Dreams are a beautiful thing and I think I have some pretty good ones! :)
-live in a big city
-swim in all 4 oceans
-visit 6 out of the 7 continents
-snorkel in the Great Barrier Reef
-see Niagara Falls
-see the Eiffel Tower
-learn to surf
-get married
-give birth
-run a 5k
-do a triathlon (mini)
-go to the Olympics in a different country
-help plant a church
-get a tattoo
-be in a flash mob
-visit all 50 states
-learn to snowboard
-see the Holy Land
-go on a legit safari in Africa with camping and all
-get my Masters
-become a successful photo journalist
That's all for now...like I said, when I think of other things I will add them! Dreams are a beautiful thing and I think I have some pretty good ones! :)
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
April 25 2012- My First Birthday
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Hiatus
2 almost whole months. Whoa. Sorry about that hiatus. Life has been a little crazy, but my mind is strangely blank when I try and think of an excuse as to why I haven't written. I feel like I've traveled a bit. I went to D.C./Baltimore and got visit my amazing bro and sis-in-law and awesome nephew. I went to the mountains with the ladies of my church. This weekend I'll be spending some time with the 'rents.
Sometimes, I feel like my life is in fast forward and sometimes in slow motion. Ever feel that way? These days it feels like I'm super busy all the time and yet can't wait to move on to the next thing. This is the Lord giving me opportunities to be patient, I think. At our retreat, we learned about what it means to Abide in Christ (John 15). That is the million dollar question right? If I were forced to name just one thing I learned from that teaching it would be that abiding happens in the everyday moments of life: how I react, think, do, or just be anything. And if you would allow me one more lesson....if/when we're being changed by Christ, we don't realize it. In fact, our reaction and attitude is quite the opposite. We understand more and more fully the picture of sin in our lives in comparison to the Holiness of the Lord and desire to be with Him all the more.
It's a beautiful thing to be torn up by the love of God and then to be put back together by it (thank you Shane and Shane).
Some of you are probably wondering about the Initiative. It's not been the best success, but it's not a failure because I haven't given up. This week I started a Fit Challenge at work. I'm on a team with 3 other co workers where we have to record our fruits/veggies, water intake, and exercise output. The winning team gets a massage after 6 weeks! So, that's been fun.
I've been toying with the idea of doing something like Take Shape For Life, which is what my good friends Megan and Diana have done. They have both had amazing success with this, but it is pricey. I'm going through different options and trying to figure out the best course. Suggestions are welcome. :)
I've started taking more photos!! This makes my heart happy. I was taking pictures at our women's retreat during worship and I got very emotional. It was a moment where I felt like I was doing EXACTLY what I was supposed to be doing. My heart was full and I was so satisfied in who the Lord is making me to be. It was a GOOD moment to say the least. I'm still working on editing those photos, but here's one from D.C.!
Love always.
Sometimes, I feel like my life is in fast forward and sometimes in slow motion. Ever feel that way? These days it feels like I'm super busy all the time and yet can't wait to move on to the next thing. This is the Lord giving me opportunities to be patient, I think. At our retreat, we learned about what it means to Abide in Christ (John 15). That is the million dollar question right? If I were forced to name just one thing I learned from that teaching it would be that abiding happens in the everyday moments of life: how I react, think, do, or just be anything. And if you would allow me one more lesson....if/when we're being changed by Christ, we don't realize it. In fact, our reaction and attitude is quite the opposite. We understand more and more fully the picture of sin in our lives in comparison to the Holiness of the Lord and desire to be with Him all the more.
It's a beautiful thing to be torn up by the love of God and then to be put back together by it (thank you Shane and Shane).
Some of you are probably wondering about the Initiative. It's not been the best success, but it's not a failure because I haven't given up. This week I started a Fit Challenge at work. I'm on a team with 3 other co workers where we have to record our fruits/veggies, water intake, and exercise output. The winning team gets a massage after 6 weeks! So, that's been fun.
I've been toying with the idea of doing something like Take Shape For Life, which is what my good friends Megan and Diana have done. They have both had amazing success with this, but it is pricey. I'm going through different options and trying to figure out the best course. Suggestions are welcome. :)
I've started taking more photos!! This makes my heart happy. I was taking pictures at our women's retreat during worship and I got very emotional. It was a moment where I felt like I was doing EXACTLY what I was supposed to be doing. My heart was full and I was so satisfied in who the Lord is making me to be. It was a GOOD moment to say the least. I'm still working on editing those photos, but here's one from D.C.!
Love always.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Exasperated Sigh
Happy Wednesday friends. You may be asking, why so frustrated? I would answer that I'm not sure. It's just one of those days. Impatience rules in Jenny's world at the moment resulting in exasperations all over th place. Why the impatience? Many reasons. Being human is the primary reason. Yes, I'm frustrated with my human tendancies of inadequacy, laziness, and mediocrity. What am I doing about it? Honestly, not much. I like to rest in the fact that Jesus has done everything for me, but I hardly take the time to put to death the earthly flesh. I read this yesterday from Russell Moore's blog: "This is the reason why self-control is a fruit of the Spirit rather than an achievement of the flesh (Gal. 5:23). We want what we want. But the discipline of God teaches us, slowly, to put old appetites to death and to whet new ones. Through the Spirit, we learn to crucify “the flesh with its passions and desires” (Gal. 5:24)." So, the Spirit is our teacher. I'm behaving like a 4th grade student who doesn't want to pay attention in class. Cue the exasperated sigh.
So, impatience along with selfishness does not bode well for The Initiative. Evidently in the confusion of my scale, I have gained back 3 lbs. Boo. hiss. I know this comes back to food because I've been working out pretty consistently. Sometimes, I like to tell myself that if I had a family to take care of, I wouldn't be so selfish with my meal planning. There might be some truth to this, but I bet my married friends are laughing at the hilariouty of this right about NOW. The other side of this is that, well, I don't have a family to take care of so tough cookies. Deal with the selfishness. I'm always so hard on myself and God is so gentle with me. His grace overwhelms me. I hope that it overwhelms me even more so that I can respond in loving obedience to Him. [insert sigh.]
So, impatience along with selfishness does not bode well for The Initiative. Evidently in the confusion of my scale, I have gained back 3 lbs. Boo. hiss. I know this comes back to food because I've been working out pretty consistently. Sometimes, I like to tell myself that if I had a family to take care of, I wouldn't be so selfish with my meal planning. There might be some truth to this, but I bet my married friends are laughing at the hilariouty of this right about NOW. The other side of this is that, well, I don't have a family to take care of so tough cookies. Deal with the selfishness. I'm always so hard on myself and God is so gentle with me. His grace overwhelms me. I hope that it overwhelms me even more so that I can respond in loving obedience to Him. [insert sigh.]
Friday, February 17, 2012
Happy Friday everyone. I don't know that I've ever been more excited that it's Friday. That's probably not true. The Friday before my Disney trip probably takes that prize. Anywho, I'm thankful for the upcoming weekend. There will not be much time to rest physically, but there will be time to rest in God and His Mission, pretty much my favorite place to be. My church is having their annual missions conference: Entermissions. 3 years ago I attended this for the first time and it is what sealed the deal for me at North Wake. I've always been in love with the Missio Dei and what that means for followers of Jesus. Granted, I just became a believer but I was raised in a home where the Mission of God took priority and that has had a lasting effect on my life. Now, more than ever it is personal for me. God has called his followers to take part in His Mission of bringing people of every tribe and nation to himself, to share in the blessings and love of our Father. I think one of my favorite things about this is that the many cultures of the world reflect the character of God. God is not American or white or middle class. He's not really defined by human cultures at all, but we can learn about parts of who He is by learning about other cultures. I love this. I love that Japanese people and those from Papua New Guinea or those from Tanzania or Scotland or Brazil- all these people are made in the image of God. Brings a huge smile to my heart and a contentment that I cannot explain.
Anyway, health update: 7 lbs. lost so far. This is not so great...considering it has been a month and a half. I think I'm gonna have to take this up a notch. Last night I had an awesome workout on a fancy new machine at the gym with my friend Megan. It's kind of like an elliptical/glider. It's nice and it gets my heart rate up without as much impact on my knees and ankles. Sweat was pouring. You're welcome.
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and take note of God's unending grace in your lives. :)
Anyway, health update: 7 lbs. lost so far. This is not so great...considering it has been a month and a half. I think I'm gonna have to take this up a notch. Last night I had an awesome workout on a fancy new machine at the gym with my friend Megan. It's kind of like an elliptical/glider. It's nice and it gets my heart rate up without as much impact on my knees and ankles. Sweat was pouring. You're welcome.
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and take note of God's unending grace in your lives. :)
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Today is Valentine's day. I typically infamously loathe this day. Blech. I still do, but not quite as much. This is my first V Day as a Believer after all. God's love is more real to me today more than ever. I'm so grateful for the grace that God has given to me and I hope that I NEVER get over it.
Healthy Update: I forgot to weigh in this morning :/ I feel I should apologize for this. I'm sorry. I will do it tomorrow! I'm thinking there may not be much change. This weekend was a doozy food wise. I went out Saturday night with some friends and indulged in some pretty rich gourmet food. Exercising has been sporadic yet existent...so who knows? I'm still working on my schedule for this. I'd like to give a shout out to my Mama, who has been walking pretty consistently for awhile now! Go Mama! So proud.
I'm going to be updating again on Thursday or Friday with more concrete results. Until then please enjoy this video:
Healthy Update: I forgot to weigh in this morning :/ I feel I should apologize for this. I'm sorry. I will do it tomorrow! I'm thinking there may not be much change. This weekend was a doozy food wise. I went out Saturday night with some friends and indulged in some pretty rich gourmet food. Exercising has been sporadic yet existent...so who knows? I'm still working on my schedule for this. I'd like to give a shout out to my Mama, who has been walking pretty consistently for awhile now! Go Mama! So proud.
I'm going to be updating again on Thursday or Friday with more concrete results. Until then please enjoy this video:
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Good morning friends. I know it's been a little while since an update... so sorry. Last weekend I went down to Georgia to be with family. It was the best of times under the worst of circumstances. Words can truly not express how grateful I am for my precious family.
Being away from my normal routine presents itself with problems. I tried to make healthy decisions about food throughout. Unfortunately, I have not had the time as of late to exercise like I want to. I'm hoping to settle back in to my routine (with a few additions taking up some time ;)) and continue exercising. I have either lost a total of 6 1/2 or 10 lbs. My scale does not know which is true. I've just decided to wait until next week to weigh again, and maybe we'll have a more definitive answer.
The Lord continues to teach me patience over and over again through this. It seems that that is something that He will always teach me. I have the perfect example of patience in Him. I think I might have mentioned before that my church is walking through Deuteronomy this year. It seems a daunting task, but our leadership is wise and knows what we need. This past week we talked about trusting the Lord (of course), and how we respond when God says no to something we want. The example was Moses not going to the Promised Land. And Moses responds with understanding and obedience. He knows that God's good plan is greater that himself. I know these truths and I think most believers do, but it's much more difficult to live out that trust in everyday life. God has a beautiful wonderful plan for my life (my dad always tells me this) and anything I can imagine will not measure up to what He has for me. It may not be what I think is best and it may seem horrible at the time, but in the end it is always what is best for me.
All of that to say that I am continually blown away by God's grace. He has given me so many blessings- family, friends, church, job, and Jesus! I hope that we can all take time to thank him for his many gifts and reflect upon on good God is.
Being away from my normal routine presents itself with problems. I tried to make healthy decisions about food throughout. Unfortunately, I have not had the time as of late to exercise like I want to. I'm hoping to settle back in to my routine (with a few additions taking up some time ;)) and continue exercising. I have either lost a total of 6 1/2 or 10 lbs. My scale does not know which is true. I've just decided to wait until next week to weigh again, and maybe we'll have a more definitive answer.
The Lord continues to teach me patience over and over again through this. It seems that that is something that He will always teach me. I have the perfect example of patience in Him. I think I might have mentioned before that my church is walking through Deuteronomy this year. It seems a daunting task, but our leadership is wise and knows what we need. This past week we talked about trusting the Lord (of course), and how we respond when God says no to something we want. The example was Moses not going to the Promised Land. And Moses responds with understanding and obedience. He knows that God's good plan is greater that himself. I know these truths and I think most believers do, but it's much more difficult to live out that trust in everyday life. God has a beautiful wonderful plan for my life (my dad always tells me this) and anything I can imagine will not measure up to what He has for me. It may not be what I think is best and it may seem horrible at the time, but in the end it is always what is best for me.
All of that to say that I am continually blown away by God's grace. He has given me so many blessings- family, friends, church, job, and Jesus! I hope that we can all take time to thank him for his many gifts and reflect upon on good God is.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Well it's Tuesday. The last 5 days have been an emotional roller coaster for me. I won't go into everything on here, but I think some of the greatest pain I've experienced happens when someone I love is hurting. Example: My freshman year of college, my brother was hit head on by a drunk driver and was rushed to the hospital. When I found this out from my dad I went into the bathroom and threw up. (He's fine by the way, amazingly only broke his arm). Needless to say, my family is very important to me and would do just about anything for them.
So, with all the emotions running wild, I had a choice to make on how I was going to eat. There were some wrong choices made and some right ones. I was talking with my friend Megan last night about the mindset of getting healthy. Part of this mindset includes thinking ahead and realizing that the decisions you make today determine the outcome later on. Sounds simple. Very hard to implement to someone who is as self-centered as I am. I'm beginning to understand that my decisions have consequences. I think my next big hurdle is going to be self control. This has always been an issue for me...I tend to live excessively. Good news: God can actually overcome personalities and lifestyles. "[the young women are] to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled." Titus 2:4-5. What's the reasoning behind being self controlled and pure? So that God's word isn't reviled. So that God's glory is shown. So that God can use my life for His glory and not just in spite of me, but through me and for His glory. I so desire this to be true of my life.
In other news and truly by a miracle of the Lord, I have lost 2 lbs this week! This brings my grand total to 6 lbs lost...I'll take it :)
So, with all the emotions running wild, I had a choice to make on how I was going to eat. There were some wrong choices made and some right ones. I was talking with my friend Megan last night about the mindset of getting healthy. Part of this mindset includes thinking ahead and realizing that the decisions you make today determine the outcome later on. Sounds simple. Very hard to implement to someone who is as self-centered as I am. I'm beginning to understand that my decisions have consequences. I think my next big hurdle is going to be self control. This has always been an issue for me...I tend to live excessively. Good news: God can actually overcome personalities and lifestyles. "[the young women are] to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled." Titus 2:4-5. What's the reasoning behind being self controlled and pure? So that God's word isn't reviled. So that God's glory is shown. So that God can use my life for His glory and not just in spite of me, but through me and for His glory. I so desire this to be true of my life.
In other news and truly by a miracle of the Lord, I have lost 2 lbs this week! This brings my grand total to 6 lbs lost...I'll take it :)
Friday, January 27, 2012
2nd Chances...and 3rd, and 4th, and 5th, and 6th....
I ordered pizza last night. It was bound to happen. Maybe now that it's out of the way I can move on? Or, that could be wishful thinking. I tend to give up before I even let myself succeed. I expect to fail and so I do. There is grace for failures. And today is a new day. I slept through breakfast this morning, but had a lovely giant salad at Panera before work.
I've gotten a nasty cold as well. The verdict is out about exercising while congested. No one really has a definitive answer on what to do. I haven't worked out the last 2 days.....so I guess that's how I answer that question.
I was trying to figure out what I'm so scared of. I think it's fear of failure. Which is ironic because that fear almost certainly leads to failure. Like last night. Last time I was serious about Weight Watchers, I lost about 15 lbs. and then I got sick. And I stopped. And I gained it all back. I don't want that to happen again. I want to be healthy and fit, and honestly in a place where I have no hang ups, no limitations as to what the Lord has asked me to do. I wish this desire would outweigh my desire for food.
I'm sorry that my last few posts have been Debbie Downers but I am simply trying to be honest. Not trying to fish for compliments or even encouragement. It's therapeutic to simply write out my thoughts because it forces me to face them. And when I face them, I'm almost always reminded of the Truth. Truth like this: "Then the word of the LORD came to Jonah the second time" Jonah 3:1. My dad told me this verse today, and it really encouraged me. God knew that Jonah was going to disobey him the first time, and He still chose to use Him and came to him a second time. Grace. Oh that I would be continually blown away by grace. I pray that you would be as well.
I've gotten a nasty cold as well. The verdict is out about exercising while congested. No one really has a definitive answer on what to do. I haven't worked out the last 2 days.....so I guess that's how I answer that question.
I was trying to figure out what I'm so scared of. I think it's fear of failure. Which is ironic because that fear almost certainly leads to failure. Like last night. Last time I was serious about Weight Watchers, I lost about 15 lbs. and then I got sick. And I stopped. And I gained it all back. I don't want that to happen again. I want to be healthy and fit, and honestly in a place where I have no hang ups, no limitations as to what the Lord has asked me to do. I wish this desire would outweigh my desire for food.
I'm sorry that my last few posts have been Debbie Downers but I am simply trying to be honest. Not trying to fish for compliments or even encouragement. It's therapeutic to simply write out my thoughts because it forces me to face them. And when I face them, I'm almost always reminded of the Truth. Truth like this: "Then the word of the LORD came to Jonah the second time" Jonah 3:1. My dad told me this verse today, and it really encouraged me. God knew that Jonah was going to disobey him the first time, and He still chose to use Him and came to him a second time. Grace. Oh that I would be continually blown away by grace. I pray that you would be as well.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Consistency
Consistency. This is huge. At the end of the day, this is what is going to make or break me. My roommate reminded me of this last night. She understands the importance of discipline in someone's life. My mind immediately gags whenever I see the word discipline. It is so against my nature to follow the rules. In fact, I'm the type that if there is a rule and I don't really like it, I will deliberately disobey it. Example: Jenny, you should journal and write things down that you're feeling. My immediate response resembles that of a 2 yr old: pouting and just saying NO. My rebellion is ugly. I wish it were not my response. Things would be so much easier. But, discipline is hard. And usually not too fun either. Case in point- eating things that I should eat and NOT eating things that I shouldn't eat. Pouting ensues. Humans have been pouting for years by the way. Since Adam and Eve. I want to do what I want to do. No matter what anyone else tells me I should do. I know that I should be eating healthy and exercising like a fiend and sometimes I want to. But, when I've been up for 14 hours and I haven't worked out that day and I need to and there's nothing in the pantry except bread, cereal, and spaghetti sauce, I don't want to. I apologize for whining and pouting. Ironic.
The reality is that this Initiative is going to take a long time. And I'm not happy about that, but it is what it is. I did lose that pound I gained back last week. But that's it. Consistency. Hopefully I'll start to see some better results in the weeks to come. Thank you all for your support :)
The reality is that this Initiative is going to take a long time. And I'm not happy about that, but it is what it is. I did lose that pound I gained back last week. But that's it. Consistency. Hopefully I'll start to see some better results in the weeks to come. Thank you all for your support :)
Friday, January 20, 2012
Selfishness
I'm so selfish. God keeps having to teach me this over and over. I want to do what I want to do when I want to do it. Oh and I want to eat what I want to eat when I want to eat it. In case you were wondering. Self control. Not attainable on my own. Which is somewhat ironic because it's called self control.
"train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled." Titus 2:4-5- I realize this is about wives but I think it's a good word for all women. Namely me. I desire to become this woman that Paul speaks of. Because left to my own devices I will continue to eat pizza, french fries, milkshakes, with some mexican food thrown in. I've tied eating yummy food to boredom and celebrating. Lots of people eat when they are sad or lonely. But I eat when I'm happy or want to celebrate or when I'm bored. So when I've done something wonderful or lost 4 lbs (ha!) all I want to do is celebrate with Pollo Loco at the Mexican restaurant. Fail. Once again this shows my selfishness and my need to 'perform' for rewards. What's the Truth? That God's blessings are not earned. Because we would not ever earn them, because we are nothing compared to the perfection of Christ. And that's what God uses as a measuring stick. So, I must completely lean on my Savior for everything. Good news is that He loves this, and wants good things for his children.
I thought I would wrap up today's post with sharing some more things I look forward to when I'm healthy: walk all over Disney World without getting sore (this will probably still happen); selfishly wear a two piece on vacation; wear fun clothes from the Misses section :) ; dare I say it: run. for like 6 miles straight. <---that means I have to start running soon, instead of walking :/ Selfishness. it's an ugly thing.
"train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled." Titus 2:4-5- I realize this is about wives but I think it's a good word for all women. Namely me. I desire to become this woman that Paul speaks of. Because left to my own devices I will continue to eat pizza, french fries, milkshakes, with some mexican food thrown in. I've tied eating yummy food to boredom and celebrating. Lots of people eat when they are sad or lonely. But I eat when I'm happy or want to celebrate or when I'm bored. So when I've done something wonderful or lost 4 lbs (ha!) all I want to do is celebrate with Pollo Loco at the Mexican restaurant. Fail. Once again this shows my selfishness and my need to 'perform' for rewards. What's the Truth? That God's blessings are not earned. Because we would not ever earn them, because we are nothing compared to the perfection of Christ. And that's what God uses as a measuring stick. So, I must completely lean on my Savior for everything. Good news is that He loves this, and wants good things for his children.
I thought I would wrap up today's post with sharing some more things I look forward to when I'm healthy: walk all over Disney World without getting sore (this will probably still happen); selfishly wear a two piece on vacation; wear fun clothes from the Misses section :) ; dare I say it: run. for like 6 miles straight. <---that means I have to start running soon, instead of walking :/ Selfishness. it's an ugly thing.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Glimpses of Doubt
Week 2 concluded yesterday evening. I started off Week 3 by weighing in this morning. I gained a pound. It would be very easy to start to slowly slip back into my old ways. Driving through fast food restaurants waaay too many times a week. Wasting lots of money on awful food. Going home after work and simply not doing anything worth while with my time. It would be simple to be lazy again. But. I belong to someone who has told me that my circumstances don't affect who I really am. Someone who says that what I do, does NOT determine my worth. My worth, is determined by Him. When Christ came to live with us on Earth, He lived a perfect life and died on the cross without EVER having committed a sin. Then when he rose again 3 days later, he defeated death completely. His death and resurrection allows those who believe in Him to live forever in eternity with him. And his life. Well his life lived on Earth gives us hope Right. Now. His perfect sinless life gives us hope. Why? Because when he died he traded his life for ours, taking on our sin and giving us His perfection. What does that look like? It means that when I'm sitting in the car debating on taking my iPod in the gym, God gives me the grace to take it in because He knows what's in that gym. He knows that there are things in there that I can't handle on my own, like ridiculously beautiful men working out or even teeny tiny women busting it on the elliptical making me feel minuscule. He knows that on my iPod is worship music that keeps my focus on Him instead of those around me or even on myself. God goes ahead of me and fights for me. Then when I get to wherever He's taken me, he gives me strength and grace to get through it. That's why I'm not giving up. Not because I'm tired of being big or lazy or whatever. But because, God. Fights. For. Me. and He fights for you too, if you let him.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Week One. Check.
Happy Wednesday everyone!
I'm planning on doing my updates Tuesday nights and Friday mornings but I don't have internet yet, so I had to wait.
I made it through Week 1!! I'm happy to report that I lost 4 lbs last week :) It's such a great feeling to see results this early. The food aspect has been really great. I've been pretty creative with my salads- On Monday I had my leftover pasta on my salad and it was fabulous...I wish I had pictures to show you! Today I am having a pretty basic salad of greens, carrots, cheese, and rosemary chicken. The rosemary chicken is from Whole Foods, which can I just tell you, I love and kind of hate this place. I love all of the fun foods in that store and the people are a little crazy and quirky, but it can get pricey. I went in on Monday night just to get a few things here and there so as not to break the bank.
Moving on. The exercise. This is continuing to be a struggle. I went to exercise last night at my apartment's little teensy gym, because I was too lazy to drive to the Y. I walked up to the gym and noticed the TV was on. Then I noticed a man running on the treadmill. I spun on my heel and headed back to my apartment. I'm such a chicken. This situation also revealed my own insecurities and how I continue to care about what others think of me. Boo. Today I'm planning on going to swim after work. This time with goggles and a one piece. :)
Please pray that I will 'try harder' to rely on the Lord more and more! Thanks for your support!
I'm planning on doing my updates Tuesday nights and Friday mornings but I don't have internet yet, so I had to wait.
I made it through Week 1!! I'm happy to report that I lost 4 lbs last week :) It's such a great feeling to see results this early. The food aspect has been really great. I've been pretty creative with my salads- On Monday I had my leftover pasta on my salad and it was fabulous...I wish I had pictures to show you! Today I am having a pretty basic salad of greens, carrots, cheese, and rosemary chicken. The rosemary chicken is from Whole Foods, which can I just tell you, I love and kind of hate this place. I love all of the fun foods in that store and the people are a little crazy and quirky, but it can get pricey. I went in on Monday night just to get a few things here and there so as not to break the bank.
Moving on. The exercise. This is continuing to be a struggle. I went to exercise last night at my apartment's little teensy gym, because I was too lazy to drive to the Y. I walked up to the gym and noticed the TV was on. Then I noticed a man running on the treadmill. I spun on my heel and headed back to my apartment. I'm such a chicken. This situation also revealed my own insecurities and how I continue to care about what others think of me. Boo. Today I'm planning on going to swim after work. This time with goggles and a one piece. :)
Please pray that I will 'try harder' to rely on the Lord more and more! Thanks for your support!
Friday, January 6, 2012
The Awkwardness of Getting Healthy
Caution: This post may be too open and honest for some. Read on if you dare (heh, now ALL of you will keep reading just to see what I have to say).
This is intended to be a quick update in my little world of getting healthy, but it will also serve to expose you to the awkwardness that ensues. Enjoy.
First things first: I'm not sure what to do with all my extra time. I'm coming to realize that I spent alot of my precious time thinking, planning, and EATING food. This is just sad. Bleh.
Secondly, exercising is not what it used to be. I've entered into the world of shin splints and sweat. Don't get me wrong, I feel incredible after I've worked out; I think it's just going to take awhile to start loving it.
Example: I used to play basketball and I wasn't half bad at it. I really loved it. Because of this, I like to shoot random things into imaginary baskets. I know I can't be the only one who does this. Sometimes I miss said basket. Like last night, when I sailed my beloved swimming goggles through the air. Unbeknownst to me, I missed. I've moved recently. Result: I can't find anything! Including my one piece swimsuit. My thoughts: well, it won't be that uncomfortable to swim in my super cute tankini, who knows maybe a boy will see me. Stupid. Oh, I'm sure a boy saw me alright! Sorry, slightly inappropriate. Swimming laps creates currents and force which pushes down. Bad idea. I'm sure I looked more than ridiculous swimming my laps with my eyes squeezed shut and one had trying to keep my drawers from falling to my knees. It was bad. But now, typing it out, it is hilarious. I've learned my lesson and it won't keep me from getting in the pool.
Third awkward truth: I've been drinking so. much. water that I've gone to the bathroom no less than 900x a day. Ok. Not really. But it feels like it. This can be especially awkward at work. "Jenny!, are you taking another break?!" "Oh yea, sorry....when you gotta go you gotta go...." Ok that conversation didn't really happen, but it did in my head.
Anywho, I can't help but notice that all of my awkward insecurities are settled around what others are thinking of me. This helps me see the sin in my heart and mind. This helps me remember that the only opinion that matters is God's.
Isaiah 43:1: “But now, this is what the LORD says—He who created you, O Jacob, he who has formed you, O Israel: ‘Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.’ This is the truth that I need to think of in these awkward, sometimes funny, sometimes desperate moments. God has redeemed me, called me out, and I am His. That's really all that matters.
This is intended to be a quick update in my little world of getting healthy, but it will also serve to expose you to the awkwardness that ensues. Enjoy.
First things first: I'm not sure what to do with all my extra time. I'm coming to realize that I spent alot of my precious time thinking, planning, and EATING food. This is just sad. Bleh.
Secondly, exercising is not what it used to be. I've entered into the world of shin splints and sweat. Don't get me wrong, I feel incredible after I've worked out; I think it's just going to take awhile to start loving it.
Example: I used to play basketball and I wasn't half bad at it. I really loved it. Because of this, I like to shoot random things into imaginary baskets. I know I can't be the only one who does this. Sometimes I miss said basket. Like last night, when I sailed my beloved swimming goggles through the air. Unbeknownst to me, I missed. I've moved recently. Result: I can't find anything! Including my one piece swimsuit. My thoughts: well, it won't be that uncomfortable to swim in my super cute tankini, who knows maybe a boy will see me. Stupid. Oh, I'm sure a boy saw me alright! Sorry, slightly inappropriate. Swimming laps creates currents and force which pushes down. Bad idea. I'm sure I looked more than ridiculous swimming my laps with my eyes squeezed shut and one had trying to keep my drawers from falling to my knees. It was bad. But now, typing it out, it is hilarious. I've learned my lesson and it won't keep me from getting in the pool.
Third awkward truth: I've been drinking so. much. water that I've gone to the bathroom no less than 900x a day. Ok. Not really. But it feels like it. This can be especially awkward at work. "Jenny!, are you taking another break?!" "Oh yea, sorry....when you gotta go you gotta go...." Ok that conversation didn't really happen, but it did in my head.
Anywho, I can't help but notice that all of my awkward insecurities are settled around what others are thinking of me. This helps me see the sin in my heart and mind. This helps me remember that the only opinion that matters is God's.
Isaiah 43:1: “But now, this is what the LORD says—He who created you, O Jacob, he who has formed you, O Israel: ‘Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.’ This is the truth that I need to think of in these awkward, sometimes funny, sometimes desperate moments. God has redeemed me, called me out, and I am His. That's really all that matters.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
The Initiative
Today I start a journey I like to call The Initiative. I know this sounds silly and maybe it's the LOST freak in me, but I like it (and that's all that matters, right?). This Initiative is one that will hopefully change how I live my life. It will include a drastic makeover of eating habits and exercising my tail off.....literally HA!
I've been thinking about this awhile and I've been waiting around. On what you ask...I'm not sure. I had a list of excuses including but not limited to: I'm fine with the way I look, it's just everyone else who has a problem with it; My health is fine, in fact my cholesterol is perfect according to the Doc; I don't have enough time/money, etc and it goes on.....
I also kept telling myself that the only reason I would get skinny would be to get a man and because I had that attitude I shouldn't do anything about it. Ridiculous. Thinking on these things reveals the selfishness in my heart. And it makes me sick. It's time to change.
I realize I cannot do this. I cannot change myself with sheer willpower. As much as I wish it was, my life is not a Disney movie. Jiminy Cricket is wrong- just because I wish it and dream it doesn't mean it will happen. No, this can only happen by the grace of God. My good works and all my best intentions without Jesus are worthless: Isaiah 64:6 says, "All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away." Compared to the life of Christ, mine does not measure up. This is why the Gospel is such Good News. I don't have to live the perfect life because Jesus already did. He traded his perfect life and righteousness for ALL my sin and shame. It is only by this beautiful truth that change can happen in my life.
I also know that I can't sit by and expect God to change me from my post on the couch in front of my big screen. Oh no. I have to make an effort :) Part of my plan includes eating a ginormous salad everyday at lunch. I know what you're thinking...that's gonna get really old. But I have high hopes of my creativity kicking in and making that salad a fun part of my day. I got the initial idea from here: http://www.canyoustayfordinner.com/2011/12/14/how-to-make-a-delicious-400-calorie-salad/ . This is a wonderful blog, but this particular post talks about the salad-for-lunch plan.
Exercising is also part of the initiative. I'm kind of doing this on my own and relying on my athletic self to shine through for me. You see, I LOVE the way I feel after I work out. I just have to get myself to start the workout. And it's starting. Monday and Tuesday afternoons. Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday mornings. I have a date with the YMCA. If you see me elsewhere during these times feel free to call me out :) The jury is still out for the weekend and how I should handle that. Suggestions are welcome.
Finally, I wanted to give you all a glimpse into not my motivation but I guess my dream of what God could do with this. I see myself hiking and actually liking it in the future. I'd love to learn to surf and partake in other oceanic activities. I'd love to be able to sit indian style on an airplane and read an awesome book. I'd love to go dancing and not sweat through my clothes. These are just a few things I look forward to...I'll be adding to this periodically.
I hope you all have a blessed Tuesday and I hope and pray that you see the Gospel today in your lives.
I've been thinking about this awhile and I've been waiting around. On what you ask...I'm not sure. I had a list of excuses including but not limited to: I'm fine with the way I look, it's just everyone else who has a problem with it; My health is fine, in fact my cholesterol is perfect according to the Doc; I don't have enough time/money, etc and it goes on.....
I also kept telling myself that the only reason I would get skinny would be to get a man and because I had that attitude I shouldn't do anything about it. Ridiculous. Thinking on these things reveals the selfishness in my heart. And it makes me sick. It's time to change.
I realize I cannot do this. I cannot change myself with sheer willpower. As much as I wish it was, my life is not a Disney movie. Jiminy Cricket is wrong- just because I wish it and dream it doesn't mean it will happen. No, this can only happen by the grace of God. My good works and all my best intentions without Jesus are worthless: Isaiah 64:6 says, "All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away." Compared to the life of Christ, mine does not measure up. This is why the Gospel is such Good News. I don't have to live the perfect life because Jesus already did. He traded his perfect life and righteousness for ALL my sin and shame. It is only by this beautiful truth that change can happen in my life.
I also know that I can't sit by and expect God to change me from my post on the couch in front of my big screen. Oh no. I have to make an effort :) Part of my plan includes eating a ginormous salad everyday at lunch. I know what you're thinking...that's gonna get really old. But I have high hopes of my creativity kicking in and making that salad a fun part of my day. I got the initial idea from here: http://www.canyoustayfordinner.com/2011/12/14/how-to-make-a-delicious-400-calorie-salad/ . This is a wonderful blog, but this particular post talks about the salad-for-lunch plan.
Exercising is also part of the initiative. I'm kind of doing this on my own and relying on my athletic self to shine through for me. You see, I LOVE the way I feel after I work out. I just have to get myself to start the workout. And it's starting. Monday and Tuesday afternoons. Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday mornings. I have a date with the YMCA. If you see me elsewhere during these times feel free to call me out :) The jury is still out for the weekend and how I should handle that. Suggestions are welcome.
Finally, I wanted to give you all a glimpse into not my motivation but I guess my dream of what God could do with this. I see myself hiking and actually liking it in the future. I'd love to learn to surf and partake in other oceanic activities. I'd love to be able to sit indian style on an airplane and read an awesome book. I'd love to go dancing and not sweat through my clothes. These are just a few things I look forward to...I'll be adding to this periodically.
I hope you all have a blessed Tuesday and I hope and pray that you see the Gospel today in your lives.
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