Ugly Colorful Pride

Thought it was time for an update. I was right. First of all, NYC was incredible, and I can't wait to go back. I enjoyed the trip with my 2 best friends. So great. Our first day there we hopped on the subway from Brooklyn into Manhattan and both my friends commented on how my face was completely lit up. Words can't express how much that city means to me. Anywho, on to other things :)
On Sunday, I'm "running" in the Color Run in D.C. with some good friends. For the last few months, I was supposed to be training for this. Some where in the middle, my knees got mad at me and then I came up with a few more excuses. I always have excuses. What has this lead to? Me not being able to run very far...at. all. Sad, I know. You may say, but Jenny, this is just the Color Run...it's supposed to be fun. And you're right. It is, and it will be. It's not even timed. My friends have all told me not to worry. We're gonna take our time and just have fun. Okay. But I know myself, and if you know me well, you know that I'm not okay with this.
I'm full of pride and self pity (which is more pride by the way). I want to be able to run and run well and get color thrown on me while running. Sounds ridiculous as I type it out. But it's true. What does this say about my heart? It says that I expect perfection of myself. This perfection just isn't possible. Because I'm human.
When I hit this point I should be calling on the Lord to drive me through. Is this what I do? Of course not, because that would require asking for help, and admitting that I can't do it. Ick. So ugly. Inadvertently, this is like telling Christ that His grace and love and mercy and goodness and forgiveness, all of that, isn't good enough for me. That it's not enough for me. Not truth. So, what is the truth?

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. - 2 Corinthians 12:8-10

So, I'm trying to boast in my weakness. Look how badly I run!! Lol. I'm just kidding, but really. I need help in this area. I pray for myself that my heart is turned toward His grace and power, and not toward my own pride and measley accomplishment.

I'm promising you all that I will have fun. I'll take pictures to prove it. :)