What will I do??? NO....Who will I be!!!!!

I know it's been a looooong time since I have updated the wonderful blog. Since the last blog, I have graduated from college. Yes! I did not get the Passion internship, however I did get an internship with the Missouri Baptist Convention working in youth ministry. I get to do life with some of the most amazing people on the planet. We did Super Summer (youth camp) at the beginning of the summer. It was so great. The Lord brought me to a place where I was angry, crazy enough. We talked alot about Isaiah 6 at camp and I got so mad at the Lord. I felt like I had been saying "Here am I send me!" for about 4 years now and He wasn't telling me what to do. It was a hard realization that I can't operate on my time. I HAVE to operate on His time. God has also taught me alot about prayer and restoration and hating sin and wanting it out of my life forever. All in all, it's been so wonderful. I have some of the coolest new brothers and sisters- Joe, Colin, Ryan, Chelsea, and Abby and of course Mom and Dad (Angela and Jeff) and Papa (Matt) and Julie! And of course little baby bro Micah! We're one big family and these people will always be a part of my life. This coming week we're going to Kirksville to hang out with Gene Austin and his wife and then it's on to St. Louis for The Project. I'm pretty pumped!
Many people keep asking me what I'm doing after this and I have no clue. Some days that's okay, other days I'm not okay with not knowing and it's hard. I do know that the Lord wants me to figure out who I am in Him before He tells me what I'm going to do. I think this is something huge that I have to conquer....feel free to pray for me about that.
Side note: my BFF Mallory is in South Africa for about another month, please pray for her and the ministry that's going on there. Also, I spent last summer in Senegal, West Africa and there are semester missionaries there right now that need prayer for their ministry as well.
Well, I think that about sums up everything, hopefully I'll update again soon. Love, love!

Well, well......33 days and counting my friends....then I'm a free woman...or so I think. College will be over and I couldn't be more ready or more not ready at the same time. So many things are going on and it's hard to choose where to begin...I'm supposed to find out TOMORROW if I get my dream internship or not....i'm starting to think not because my dad says that it's not the best thing for me right now. which is extremely frustrating. He says that the Lord has something bigger for me. Which I know that God has plans for my life and they are most likely bigger than what I can imagine, but i really think this internship would be a step in the right direction. So that's that....i'll keep you updated about what happens. Next, my show. Originally, my show was to be on the 7th of April, I found out last week it was scheduled for the 1st of April as in THIS tuesday....well that wasn't going to work out so we moved it to the 25th of April. I'm getting stressly excited about it....I have all my pieces now I just have to fix all the announcements and all that fun stuff. I feel like I'm sitting on a volcano that's about to erupt and there's nothing I can do about it....I went to a concert this past weekend. One of the bands was Sanctus Real....never really heard their music before but they were pretty good. One of their songs though....the Lord wrote it for me I think. And i'm not usually one to put up song lyrics and say read this....this is what i'm feeling....but read this...this is what i'm feeling...haha!


It's time for healing time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
And all I can do is surrender
(Chorus)
Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something Heavenly
Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Reevaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow Your will
Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is You want from me
I give everything I surrender...
To...
(Chorus)
Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to release all my held back tears
Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly
Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly
Something Heavenly
It's time to face up
Clean this old house
Time breathe in and let everything out


So in conclusion, whatever the Lord is doing....it feels crazy, but it's much bigger than me and that's really awesome and I'm giving in to it.

Gotta <3 It

This time last year I was writhing in self-pity, wondering if I'd ever get a man. This year, I'd be writhing in pain if I did have a man. It was a year of learning and growing. No big surprise. You should be worried if you haven't learned anything since last year. And growing....growing in the Lord is huge. I feel like I've done that. He has taught me alot about patience and being used where I am. The Lord is faithful and good....and I'm so glad I know Him.
Back to what I was talking about.....I meet with this amazing group of girls...no, women, on Tuesdays and yesterday we talked about finding your mate and how you know if it's right and what that looks like. It was good stuff....I couldn't help noticing that every single one of us is ready to find that someone, but I found myself asking the Lord to hold off a little bit. At least until I'm somewhere where I'm gonna be for more than 3 months. The Lord chuckled. He was like, Jenny, what makes you think I'll hold off for YOU.....how bout we do this in my time. Then I chuckled. Who am I to ask the creator of the universe to hold off bringing Mr. Right in my life. Bring him on!!! haha. Anywho, like I said the Lord is good and faithful. I'm excited for what He has in store for the next few weeks. It's gonna be good.....I can feel it.