I ordered pizza last night. It was bound to happen. Maybe now that it's out of the way I can move on? Or, that could be wishful thinking. I tend to give up before I even let myself succeed. I expect to fail and so I do. There is grace for failures. And today is a new day. I slept through breakfast this morning, but had a lovely giant salad at Panera before work.
I've gotten a nasty cold as well. The verdict is out about exercising while congested. No one really has a definitive answer on what to do. I haven't worked out the last 2 days.....so I guess that's how I answer that question.
I was trying to figure out what I'm so scared of. I think it's fear of failure. Which is ironic because that fear almost certainly leads to failure. Like last night. Last time I was serious about Weight Watchers, I lost about 15 lbs. and then I got sick. And I stopped. And I gained it all back. I don't want that to happen again. I want to be healthy and fit, and honestly in a place where I have no hang ups, no limitations as to what the Lord has asked me to do. I wish this desire would outweigh my desire for food.
I'm sorry that my last few posts have been Debbie Downers but I am simply trying to be honest. Not trying to fish for compliments or even encouragement. It's therapeutic to simply write out my thoughts because it forces me to face them. And when I face them, I'm almost always reminded of the Truth. Truth like this: "Then the word of the LORD came to Jonah the second time" Jonah 3:1. My dad told me this verse today, and it really encouraged me. God knew that Jonah was going to disobey him the first time, and He still chose to use Him and came to him a second time. Grace. Oh that I would be continually blown away by grace. I pray that you would be as well.
No comments:
Post a Comment