Selfishness

I'm so selfish. God keeps having to teach me this over and over. I want to do what I want to do when I want to do it. Oh and I want to eat what I want to eat when I want to eat it. In case you were wondering. Self control. Not attainable on my own. Which is somewhat ironic because it's called self control.
"train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled." Titus 2:4-5- I realize this is about wives but I think it's a good word for all women. Namely me. I desire to become this woman that Paul speaks of. Because left to my own devices I will continue to eat pizza, french fries, milkshakes, with some mexican food thrown in. I've tied eating yummy food to boredom and celebrating. Lots of people eat when they are sad or lonely. But I eat when I'm happy or want to celebrate or when I'm bored. So when I've done something wonderful or lost 4 lbs (ha!) all I want to do is celebrate with Pollo Loco at the Mexican restaurant. Fail. Once again this shows my selfishness and my need to 'perform' for rewards. What's the Truth? That God's blessings are not earned. Because we would not ever earn them, because we are nothing compared to the perfection of Christ. And that's what God uses as a measuring stick. So, I must completely lean on my Savior for everything. Good news is that He loves this, and wants good things for his children.
I thought I would wrap up today's post with sharing some more things I look forward to when I'm healthy: walk all over Disney World without getting sore (this will probably still happen); selfishly wear a two piece on vacation; wear fun clothes from the Misses section :) ; dare I say it: run. for like 6 miles straight. <---that means I have to start running soon, instead of walking :/ Selfishness. it's an ugly thing.