ScriptureDoodle

Happy Thursday!

Update on the letter: I must tell you that I have not written my letter. I feel I must apologize, because I told all of you I would write it last weekend and it just didn't happen. The goal is Saturday. I know once I sit down the words and thoughts will flow. Perhaps I will share a snippit once it is written.

In other news, I saw something today on Instagram, a challenge if you will. One of my distant friends, Julie Plunk had posted a #scripturedoodle. I was intrigued. It was guided by a letter of the day and corresponding verses and of course doodling. After some investigating I found the origin here .
The basics of Scripture Doodling combine meditating on Scripture while using the wonderful skill of doodling. This sounded wonderful to me. I know the plan on the main website actually started a few days ago, but I think I'm going to start on July 1st with the letter A. I'll be sharing my creations on Instagram, username Jennybar17.

Health update: Eek is all I have to say. Well, not really. I go to the nutrionist tomorrow after a 5 week stint of doing this on my own. It has not gone well. There were several days where I just ate what I wanted, and the majority of the days I did not track my food. Exercise has been on track, however the past 2 weeks have kicked my tail. Last night I laid on my living room floor and told my roommate that I didn't think I'd be able to run the whole thing by September. Tiffany was encouraging and said that I should just do the best that I can and that is enough, but she also said to keep my goal in mind. I can do that.

Anyway, I hope you all have a lovely day. Mine is filled with a 9 hr. workday, trip to Target for new doodle pens :) and a massage!

Love always.

Hurry Up and Wait

Hello Friends!
It's Thursday, which means tomorrow is Friday, which means the weekend is CLOSE. :)

Recently I had a meeting with the Dean at seminary. We talked about me coming back to school. He kept saying over and over how no one has ever done this before. To the pessimist this does not sound good. But, his point was that everyone who has ever been expelled didn't want to come back, much less did they try. He was overjoyed that I wanted to try. Unfortunately, admission is not up to him. I do however, have to write a letter explaining why I want to come back and finish. And my reasoning can't just simply be to finish, as much as I want to haha :)
So begins my gifting of procrastination. I do well in this area. I've spent the last week mulling over why I want to go back to school. It would be easy for me to spin a well written explanation of reasons why and make it sound really really good. I don't want to do this. I want to be truthful. The truth of the matter is, I don't have to finish my degree to be able to serve in ministry. I've been serving in ministry without one. What's my ministry you ask? Well currently I have a job in the "real world." Ministry experience is an understatement.
My dream has always been to move to NYC and "do" ministry there. Do I need a degree to do that? Nope. Would it be nice to have it? Yep. I lack 9 hrs- 3 of those being a practicum, aka, a mission trip with book reviews :) So, you see my conundrum...I've assigned myself to write this letter this weekend. Comments and suggestions are appreciated :)
After I write said letter, I send it to the Dean. He then writes one back giving me official permission to apply for school, starting classes in January. Life is coming at me so fast, yet so slow. Hurry up and wait has become my personal motto I think. God knows the plans He has for me. In fact, He made them. And He is never surprised by anything.
Also in the back of my mind is how in the world to start up a photography business. I've done some photos here and there of friends and family. I guess I just need to do this more and more. Maybe make a webpage. Buy new lenses ($$$). Lots involved. Also, I know nothing of running a business. Photo journalism is also in the back of my head. This was my intended purpose of getting a photography degree. Tell a story through photos. Unfortunately, it's a dying career. Everyone has a camera and everyone is telling their own story. I'm not giving up though. Like I said, hurry up and wait.

Happy Friday!!

"Everybody's workin' for the weekend!" I feel that I've truly been living this song. It's a little sad and hilarious. Weekends are so wonderful. So full of rest, relaxation, and fun :) This weekend in particular, I get to see a certain little Mister. Colton Drew- my precious 1 yr. old nephew. I also love spending time with his amazing parents, Andrew and Sarah. Promises to be a weekend to remember.

Other updates:
-I might get to go back to school in January!! This is wonderful news and I'm really excited to possibly have the opportunity to finish.
-Workout(s) this week were wonderful- It's an easy week. Basically, these weeks give my body a chance to rest/recover from the shock of running. Next week, it's back to the intensified intervals.
-Food: As soon as I sent that sample menu to you guys, I stopped following it. Bleh. I apologize and feel guilty for this. It seems that when I become confident in my ability to follow this, that is when I stumble. Christ is made perfect in my weakness (2 Cor. 12:9a). I cannot give up. Today I fit into a pair of pants that I haven't worn in over a year. I have no idea how much I've lost or if I have, but my clothes are fitting better. This is enough evidence for me!

One of these days, I'll start putting up pictures along with my posts. Blogs are always more fun with pictures. I hope and pray everyone has a great weekend!!

Love always.

Sweet Summer Health

So sorry about the hiatus...once again. My bad. I feel like I'm beginning every post this way. Terrible. Anywho, I hope everyone is doing well, and if not, I hope you remember how good and faithful our God is :) It's been a good past few weeks. For those that don't know I've started to see a nutritionist. She's awesome. She seemed to catch on to the fact immediately that I don't deal well with people telling me what to do and has so far let me determine what I should do....or at least she made me think I'm deciding all of it...oh, she's good! HA! So that's going well...no more late night milkshake runs..so that's an improvement. What's with the turn around you might ask? Well, the Word talks about the body quite a bit. It's not just something we have right now. It will in fact be with us forever, granted God will be redeeming it, but He has given us this 'vessel' to steward over. Why respect the body? Well for one God made it, and we should be respecting and honoring whatever God has made. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says, "Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body." Our bodies don't actually belong to us, they belong to the Lord. We have a responsibility to take care of them. Every time I eat healthy or exercise or make a good decision about what I put in my mouth, God sees this as beautiful worship. When put in this light, it's a little bit easier to do what I'm supposed to do and not just what I want. Along this same line, my friend Erin has written me a running training plan. Crazy right? I'll be running a 5K in September as long as I stick to it!! So excited. It's called The Color Run. Look it up...it's epic. I'm on Week 4 with this plan and I can definitely tell a difference!
Next up...something slightly off topic. My favorite reality show is on this summer: So You Think You Can Dance. So great! Watching last week, I was trying to figure out why I love it so much. I think it is because it's such a beautiful expression of art and I certainly appreciate art. Dancing is something I've wanted to do for awhile...and not just ballroom or swing, but something that is truly expressive. So many emotions and feelings can be expressed through dance. One of my dreams/goals for my healthy self is to learn some basic techniques of dance: ballet, maybe some contemporary, who knows? Seeing that beauty in dance and seeing how God has gifted certain individuals, truly makes me greatful of how creative our God is. Helps me understand more of who He is. Ok, ok, that's enough of my creativity tirade ;) I thought I'd end this post with a sampling of what I've been eating lately, just some of my normal dinners...in case you're wondering! :)
Love Always!

Monday: Chikfila Salad! (small group night)
Tuesday: Feta Burgers with Side Salad and corn
Wednesday: Baked Tilapia with Coleslaw and Quinua salad
Thursday: Whole Wheat Penne with Chicken, crushed tomatoes, and garlic sauce with salad
Friday: On the road (driving to see my Bro and SIL and Colton in Baltimore :))

Barket List

Many of my friends have made Bucket Lists and I want to make one too. This might be ongoing, but I'll try to do an all inclusive post today. I've decided to call my Bucket List the Barket List, for obvious reasons. Much more fun and personal that way :) So let's dive right in!

-live in a big city
-swim in all 4 oceans
-visit 6 out of the 7 continents
-snorkel in the Great Barrier Reef
-see Niagara Falls
-see the Eiffel Tower
-learn to surf
-get married
-give birth
-run a 5k
-do a triathlon (mini)
-go to the Olympics in a different country
-help plant a church
-get a tattoo
-be in a flash mob
-visit all 50 states
-learn to snowboard
-see the Holy Land
-go on a legit safari in Africa with camping and all
-get my Masters
-become a successful photo journalist

That's all for now...like I said, when I think of other things I will add them! Dreams are a beautiful thing and I think I have some pretty good ones! :)

April 25 2012- My First Birthday

If I haven't talked to you in awhile you might be slightly shocked after you read this, or maybe not. Anyway, you've been warned :). A year ago today, I gave my life to Christ and chose to follow, love, and obey him for the rest of my life. It was the most important decision I've ever made and will ever make. The years, months, and days leading up to that one are nothing short of a miracle. I'll give a brief overview: I grew up in a loving Christian home. My dad was in fact in the ministry and told people about Jesus everyday, including me and my brothers. Growing up in the church, especially when your parents are in leadership, is a blessing, but also presents itself with some challenges. My parents never asked this of me, but I expected perfection from myself. Our lives were lived in high focus and I felt that I should hold my end of the bargain. I was a good kid. And I reveled in the merits that I was earning. Good grades, pride from adults, good friends, etc. When I was about 7 I told my parents that I had gotten "saved", and wanted to be baptized. My BFF at the time was also making the same decision, i.e. not a genuine decision for me. When I was about 10, I realized I wasn't saved and talked my dad about it. I prayed a prayer because that's what you're supposed to do. Again, I was making decisions based on what I thought was expected of me. The difference this time was that I knew what sin was and that I had it. So began my journey to get rid of the sin I had. This tarnished my perfection. At the time, I had no idea this was what I was doing. I simply thought everyone who was a Christian went through this. Everyone had to figure out how to clean their lives up after they met Jesus right? Wow, sounds so messed up as I'm typing it out. Anyway, I grew up in the church as a leader in youth group and in school, and grew my reputation as the good girl. I was the preacher's daughter that didn't fit the stereotype. Rebellion was the furthest thing from my mind and heart, that would bring on way too much disappointment. Senior year of high school rolled along and with it came the ugliness of sin and the lies of Satan. So, began my 7 year journey of addiction a.k.a. SIN. Those 7 years were filled with high and lows. Crying out to God. Broken promises. LIES. Anger at God. Anger at men. Lots of questions beginning with Why. Doubt. Guilt. Shame. I could go on and on. Looking back here's what I know: God has been in relentless pursuit of me. When I thought I was furthest from him, He was drawing me even closer. The pressure cooker intensified over the last 2 years. I know I'm being pretty candid here but I think it's okay. My sin started to take over every aspect of my life. It was obvious to those around me that I was a slave to it. My eyes were blinded to it. I thought that I had a handle on things. I was in counseling to try and "fix" it. I was still attending church and going to small group. I was in fact some what infecting those around me. My sin began to harden my heart and I was adamantly against change. My friends would suggest to me to change something here or there, or maybe journal or memorize a Bible verse. And I would nastily reply, "Nope." My counselor told me I had to go talk to the dean of my school because I was breaking their covenant. I obeyed and was put on probation. This eventually turned into suspension and then expulsion. Sin had dug it's nasty claws deep into my heart. I had no plans, and in my eyes no future after that. I went deeper still into sin. My best friend told me she could no longer be friends with me. My sin was effecting her too much. Like I said, it was a dark place. I moved in with a good friend who patiently poured truth into me and was there when I thought my world was falling apart. Her love and kindness showed me the Gospel in the midst of my hurt. April of 2011 rolled around. I went to a women's retreat with my church where we talked about emotions. I had discovered that I had been angry at God, for things I thought He had done to hurt me. They were in fact done because He loves me more than I can fathom. Lots of healing occurred that weekend. Good Friday I dragged my wonderful roommate to hear David Platt talk about salvation at Secret Church (if you don't know what that is, look it up!). My life was forever changed. Keep in mind that up to this point, I thought that the Spirit lived inside of me and that I belonged to Jesus. David prayed before his teaching that those who were not saved would be so uncomfortable that night. I haven't squirmed so much in my life. He started talking about the doctrine of Adoption. He talked about John Wesley and how he was a pastor and sent as a missionary but wasn't saved until later. Looking back over his life he realized he had always had the faith of a servant, but he'd never had the faith of a son until he was converted. Holy cow. I turned to my friend and whispered, "I think that's me." She graciously replied, OK. That weekend was crazy. I remember looking back over the events of my life and seeing God's hand in ALL of it. The discipline that was shown to me at school: God's grace. My best friend stepping out of my life: God's grace. God knew exactly what I held above HIM. School, friends. He used those circumstances to show my need for Him. He used all of these things to show me that the ONLY thing I need is Him. Salvation, sanctification, can't be earned. There's nothing I can do to "fix" my situation. God's grace was uber bright in my face. So, on April 25, 2011, the Monday after Easter, I read Romans and gave my life to Jesus. He began to immediately change my heart. Gone were the days of outright rebellion. Why did I want to obey? Simply because Jesus loves me. Why wouldn't I want to?? Soon after, I was baptized in the lake in the witness of my church, and my best friend. How much has changed? I don't know. It feels like not alot, but I know that's not true. God continually shows me where He is in my life, and continues to show me the evidences of Grace. They are new every morning. My heart is changing and my deepest desire is for Him, and not of the things of this world. Do I have hard days? Absolutely. But guess what? Just because Jesus "has" me now, doesn't me he hasn't stopped pursuing me. His love overwhelms me continually. God's grace is sufficient. More than in fact. Did I think I would be where I am today? Nope. But I'm so grateful that I am. I know that the things I have been through will only be used for good in the future. So friends, be encouraged and know that God loves you so much and that He will continue to pursue you, even when you don't want Him too.

Hiatus

2 almost whole months. Whoa. Sorry about that hiatus. Life has been a little crazy, but my mind is strangely blank when I try and think of an excuse as to why I haven't written. I feel like I've traveled a bit. I went to D.C./Baltimore and got visit my amazing bro and sis-in-law and awesome nephew. I went to the mountains with the ladies of my church. This weekend I'll be spending some time with the 'rents.

Sometimes, I feel like my life is in fast forward and sometimes in slow motion. Ever feel that way? These days it feels like I'm super busy all the time and yet can't wait to move on to the next thing. This is the Lord giving me opportunities to be patient, I think. At our retreat, we learned about what it means to Abide in Christ (John 15). That is the million dollar question right? If I were forced to name just one thing I learned from that teaching it would be that abiding happens in the everyday moments of life: how I react, think, do, or just be anything. And if you would allow me one more lesson....if/when we're being changed by Christ, we don't realize it. In fact, our reaction and attitude is quite the opposite. We understand more and more fully the picture of sin in our lives in comparison to the Holiness of the Lord and desire to be with Him all the more.

It's a beautiful thing to be torn up by the love of God and then to be put back together by it (thank you Shane and Shane).

Some of you are probably wondering about the Initiative. It's not been the best success, but it's not a failure because I haven't given up. This week I started a Fit Challenge at work. I'm on a team with 3 other co workers where we have to record our fruits/veggies, water intake, and exercise output. The winning team gets a massage after 6 weeks! So, that's been fun.
I've been toying with the idea of doing something like Take Shape For Life, which is what my good friends Megan and Diana have done. They have both had amazing success with this, but it is pricey. I'm going through different options and trying to figure out the best course. Suggestions are welcome. :)

I've started taking more photos!! This makes my heart happy. I was taking pictures at our women's retreat during worship and I got very emotional. It was a moment where I felt like I was doing EXACTLY what I was supposed to be doing. My heart was full and I was so satisfied in who the Lord is making me to be. It was a GOOD moment to say the least. I'm still working on editing those photos, but here's one from D.C.!



Love always.