Thought it was time for an update. I was right. First of all, NYC was incredible, and I can't wait to go back. I enjoyed the trip with my 2 best friends. So great. Our first day there we hopped on the subway from Brooklyn into Manhattan and both my friends commented on how my face was completely lit up. Words can't express how much that city means to me. Anywho, on to other things :)
On Sunday, I'm "running" in the Color Run in D.C. with some good friends. For the last few months, I was supposed to be training for this. Some where in the middle, my knees got mad at me and then I came up with a few more excuses. I always have excuses. What has this lead to? Me not being able to run very far...at. all. Sad, I know. You may say, but Jenny, this is just the Color Run...it's supposed to be fun. And you're right. It is, and it will be. It's not even timed. My friends have all told me not to worry. We're gonna take our time and just have fun. Okay. But I know myself, and if you know me well, you know that I'm not okay with this.
I'm full of pride and self pity (which is more pride by the way). I want to be able to run and run well and get color thrown on me while running. Sounds ridiculous as I type it out. But it's true. What does this say about my heart? It says that I expect perfection of myself. This perfection just isn't possible. Because I'm human.
When I hit this point I should be calling on the Lord to drive me through. Is this what I do? Of course not, because that would require asking for help, and admitting that I can't do it. Ick. So ugly. Inadvertently, this is like telling Christ that His grace and love and mercy and goodness and forgiveness, all of that, isn't good enough for me. That it's not enough for me. Not truth. So, what is the truth?
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. - 2 Corinthians 12:8-10
So, I'm trying to boast in my weakness. Look how badly I run!! Lol. I'm just kidding, but really. I need help in this area. I pray for myself that my heart is turned toward His grace and power, and not toward my own pride and measley accomplishment.
I'm promising you all that I will have fun. I'll take pictures to prove it. :)
Friday, September 7, 2012
Monday, July 16, 2012
New York Pipe Dreams
I leave to visit the great city of New York in 3 days. I can't begin to express how excited I am. My heart has been pulled there for some time now. I'll get to share and experience this great city again, this time with my 2 best friends. I'm hoping and praying that this time will be filled with encouragement and fun. I have no doubts in fact, that it will be.
I still have dreams to live in this great city and share Jesus with those I come across. Why NYC? This city could arguably be the most influential city in the world. The culture, especially American culture, flows from it. What better place to be a light and influence? I have no doubt that the Lord has placed this city on my heart. I still don't know what that means for my future. Do I hope to end up there one day? More than anything!
I ask for your prayers this week. Pray that I will guard my heart against covetousness. Pray that I will be satisfied in Christ alone and that I do not have to live in this city to make a difference. Pray that I will be challenged in my calling and also reaffirmed in it. Pray that I will pray for the people of the city. I will have an awesome update when I return! Until then, for your viewing pleasure:
This is me in Central Park, the last time I visited in Fall of 2010. :)
I still have dreams to live in this great city and share Jesus with those I come across. Why NYC? This city could arguably be the most influential city in the world. The culture, especially American culture, flows from it. What better place to be a light and influence? I have no doubt that the Lord has placed this city on my heart. I still don't know what that means for my future. Do I hope to end up there one day? More than anything!
I ask for your prayers this week. Pray that I will guard my heart against covetousness. Pray that I will be satisfied in Christ alone and that I do not have to live in this city to make a difference. Pray that I will be challenged in my calling and also reaffirmed in it. Pray that I will pray for the people of the city. I will have an awesome update when I return! Until then, for your viewing pleasure:
This is me in Central Park, the last time I visited in Fall of 2010. :)
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Dare
I'm being dared by the Savior, Creator of the world to fall madly in love. In fact, his dare is so powerful he doesn't have to triple dog dare me. No, it's a simple, "hey, try me." with the head nod and all. At least, that's what I picture. My heart is SO distracted by menial worldly things. I'm borrowing this quote from a phenomenal blog post that resulted in this outpouring. Check it out here.
Here's the quote:
“I am going to drown in this sucky place of never getting what I long for. You keep saying these things about abundant life … whatever that is, I don’t have it. There’s more to You. If it is true and You mean it, then BE IT. If there isn’t, then You lied and I am screwed. So. Here goes, God. I am going to fast all other pleasures to see if YOU, God, can become my all-time, all-consuming pleasure. I am tired of this life and what it pretends to have. I want the REAL. Will You be my Lover, Lord???”
Am I desperate enough to do this? Yea, I think so. Why? Because all of those so-called pleasures of the world are not actually pleasurable. Sure, I could keep lying to myself and pretend that this over here will keep me occupied for a few days and I might feel a sense of belonging and loving. But it pales in comparison to the "all-consuming pleasure of God.
Paul seems to put this in perspective: They will be … “lovers of pleasure rather than God. They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly. … They are the kind of people who work their way into peoples homes and win the confidence of vulnerable women who are burdened with the guilt of sin and controlled by various desires. Such women are forever following new teachings, but they are never able to understand the truth” (2 Tim. 3:4-7).
I don't know about you, but that verse scares me. Outward behavior can only last so long. The heart catches up and reveals who we really are, what we really love. So just saying no to those worldly pleasures, doesn't really work. I know this first hand. Yes, we put off, but then we MUST put ON.
"You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore." Psalm 16:11
He is enough. More than enough in fact. Much more than I could ever hope to handle. Oh that I would be consumed. Pray that I'll take the challenge of the Dare. I hope you do too.
Love always.
Here's the quote:
“I am going to drown in this sucky place of never getting what I long for. You keep saying these things about abundant life … whatever that is, I don’t have it. There’s more to You. If it is true and You mean it, then BE IT. If there isn’t, then You lied and I am screwed. So. Here goes, God. I am going to fast all other pleasures to see if YOU, God, can become my all-time, all-consuming pleasure. I am tired of this life and what it pretends to have. I want the REAL. Will You be my Lover, Lord???”
Am I desperate enough to do this? Yea, I think so. Why? Because all of those so-called pleasures of the world are not actually pleasurable. Sure, I could keep lying to myself and pretend that this over here will keep me occupied for a few days and I might feel a sense of belonging and loving. But it pales in comparison to the "all-consuming pleasure of God.
Paul seems to put this in perspective: They will be … “lovers of pleasure rather than God. They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly. … They are the kind of people who work their way into peoples homes and win the confidence of vulnerable women who are burdened with the guilt of sin and controlled by various desires. Such women are forever following new teachings, but they are never able to understand the truth” (2 Tim. 3:4-7).
I don't know about you, but that verse scares me. Outward behavior can only last so long. The heart catches up and reveals who we really are, what we really love. So just saying no to those worldly pleasures, doesn't really work. I know this first hand. Yes, we put off, but then we MUST put ON.
"You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore." Psalm 16:11
He is enough. More than enough in fact. Much more than I could ever hope to handle. Oh that I would be consumed. Pray that I'll take the challenge of the Dare. I hope you do too.
Love always.
Thursday, June 28, 2012
ScriptureDoodle
Happy Thursday!
Update on the letter: I must tell you that I have not written my letter. I feel I must apologize, because I told all of you I would write it last weekend and it just didn't happen. The goal is Saturday. I know once I sit down the words and thoughts will flow. Perhaps I will share a snippit once it is written.
In other news, I saw something today on Instagram, a challenge if you will. One of my distant friends, Julie Plunk had posted a #scripturedoodle. I was intrigued. It was guided by a letter of the day and corresponding verses and of course doodling. After some investigating I found the origin here .
The basics of Scripture Doodling combine meditating on Scripture while using the wonderful skill of doodling. This sounded wonderful to me. I know the plan on the main website actually started a few days ago, but I think I'm going to start on July 1st with the letter A. I'll be sharing my creations on Instagram, username Jennybar17.
Health update: Eek is all I have to say. Well, not really. I go to the nutrionist tomorrow after a 5 week stint of doing this on my own. It has not gone well. There were several days where I just ate what I wanted, and the majority of the days I did not track my food. Exercise has been on track, however the past 2 weeks have kicked my tail. Last night I laid on my living room floor and told my roommate that I didn't think I'd be able to run the whole thing by September. Tiffany was encouraging and said that I should just do the best that I can and that is enough, but she also said to keep my goal in mind. I can do that.
Anyway, I hope you all have a lovely day. Mine is filled with a 9 hr. workday, trip to Target for new doodle pens :) and a massage!
Love always.
Update on the letter: I must tell you that I have not written my letter. I feel I must apologize, because I told all of you I would write it last weekend and it just didn't happen. The goal is Saturday. I know once I sit down the words and thoughts will flow. Perhaps I will share a snippit once it is written.
In other news, I saw something today on Instagram, a challenge if you will. One of my distant friends, Julie Plunk had posted a #scripturedoodle. I was intrigued. It was guided by a letter of the day and corresponding verses and of course doodling. After some investigating I found the origin here .
The basics of Scripture Doodling combine meditating on Scripture while using the wonderful skill of doodling. This sounded wonderful to me. I know the plan on the main website actually started a few days ago, but I think I'm going to start on July 1st with the letter A. I'll be sharing my creations on Instagram, username Jennybar17.
Health update: Eek is all I have to say. Well, not really. I go to the nutrionist tomorrow after a 5 week stint of doing this on my own. It has not gone well. There were several days where I just ate what I wanted, and the majority of the days I did not track my food. Exercise has been on track, however the past 2 weeks have kicked my tail. Last night I laid on my living room floor and told my roommate that I didn't think I'd be able to run the whole thing by September. Tiffany was encouraging and said that I should just do the best that I can and that is enough, but she also said to keep my goal in mind. I can do that.
Anyway, I hope you all have a lovely day. Mine is filled with a 9 hr. workday, trip to Target for new doodle pens :) and a massage!
Love always.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Hurry Up and Wait
Hello Friends!
It's Thursday, which means tomorrow is Friday, which means the weekend is CLOSE. :)
Recently I had a meeting with the Dean at seminary. We talked about me coming back to school. He kept saying over and over how no one has ever done this before. To the pessimist this does not sound good. But, his point was that everyone who has ever been expelled didn't want to come back, much less did they try. He was overjoyed that I wanted to try. Unfortunately, admission is not up to him. I do however, have to write a letter explaining why I want to come back and finish. And my reasoning can't just simply be to finish, as much as I want to haha :)
So begins my gifting of procrastination. I do well in this area. I've spent the last week mulling over why I want to go back to school. It would be easy for me to spin a well written explanation of reasons why and make it sound really really good. I don't want to do this. I want to be truthful. The truth of the matter is, I don't have to finish my degree to be able to serve in ministry. I've been serving in ministry without one. What's my ministry you ask? Well currently I have a job in the "real world." Ministry experience is an understatement.
My dream has always been to move to NYC and "do" ministry there. Do I need a degree to do that? Nope. Would it be nice to have it? Yep. I lack 9 hrs- 3 of those being a practicum, aka, a mission trip with book reviews :) So, you see my conundrum...I've assigned myself to write this letter this weekend. Comments and suggestions are appreciated :)
After I write said letter, I send it to the Dean. He then writes one back giving me official permission to apply for school, starting classes in January. Life is coming at me so fast, yet so slow. Hurry up and wait has become my personal motto I think. God knows the plans He has for me. In fact, He made them. And He is never surprised by anything.
Also in the back of my mind is how in the world to start up a photography business. I've done some photos here and there of friends and family. I guess I just need to do this more and more. Maybe make a webpage. Buy new lenses ($$$). Lots involved. Also, I know nothing of running a business. Photo journalism is also in the back of my head. This was my intended purpose of getting a photography degree. Tell a story through photos. Unfortunately, it's a dying career. Everyone has a camera and everyone is telling their own story. I'm not giving up though. Like I said, hurry up and wait.
It's Thursday, which means tomorrow is Friday, which means the weekend is CLOSE. :)
Recently I had a meeting with the Dean at seminary. We talked about me coming back to school. He kept saying over and over how no one has ever done this before. To the pessimist this does not sound good. But, his point was that everyone who has ever been expelled didn't want to come back, much less did they try. He was overjoyed that I wanted to try. Unfortunately, admission is not up to him. I do however, have to write a letter explaining why I want to come back and finish. And my reasoning can't just simply be to finish, as much as I want to haha :)
So begins my gifting of procrastination. I do well in this area. I've spent the last week mulling over why I want to go back to school. It would be easy for me to spin a well written explanation of reasons why and make it sound really really good. I don't want to do this. I want to be truthful. The truth of the matter is, I don't have to finish my degree to be able to serve in ministry. I've been serving in ministry without one. What's my ministry you ask? Well currently I have a job in the "real world." Ministry experience is an understatement.
My dream has always been to move to NYC and "do" ministry there. Do I need a degree to do that? Nope. Would it be nice to have it? Yep. I lack 9 hrs- 3 of those being a practicum, aka, a mission trip with book reviews :) So, you see my conundrum...I've assigned myself to write this letter this weekend. Comments and suggestions are appreciated :)
After I write said letter, I send it to the Dean. He then writes one back giving me official permission to apply for school, starting classes in January. Life is coming at me so fast, yet so slow. Hurry up and wait has become my personal motto I think. God knows the plans He has for me. In fact, He made them. And He is never surprised by anything.
Also in the back of my mind is how in the world to start up a photography business. I've done some photos here and there of friends and family. I guess I just need to do this more and more. Maybe make a webpage. Buy new lenses ($$$). Lots involved. Also, I know nothing of running a business. Photo journalism is also in the back of my head. This was my intended purpose of getting a photography degree. Tell a story through photos. Unfortunately, it's a dying career. Everyone has a camera and everyone is telling their own story. I'm not giving up though. Like I said, hurry up and wait.
Friday, June 15, 2012
Happy Friday!!
"Everybody's workin' for the weekend!" I feel that I've truly been living this song. It's a little sad and hilarious. Weekends are so wonderful. So full of rest, relaxation, and fun :) This weekend in particular, I get to see a certain little Mister. Colton Drew- my precious 1 yr. old nephew. I also love spending time with his amazing parents, Andrew and Sarah. Promises to be a weekend to remember.
Other updates:
-I might get to go back to school in January!! This is wonderful news and I'm really excited to possibly have the opportunity to finish.
-Workout(s) this week were wonderful- It's an easy week. Basically, these weeks give my body a chance to rest/recover from the shock of running. Next week, it's back to the intensified intervals.
-Food: As soon as I sent that sample menu to you guys, I stopped following it. Bleh. I apologize and feel guilty for this. It seems that when I become confident in my ability to follow this, that is when I stumble. Christ is made perfect in my weakness (2 Cor. 12:9a). I cannot give up. Today I fit into a pair of pants that I haven't worn in over a year. I have no idea how much I've lost or if I have, but my clothes are fitting better. This is enough evidence for me!
One of these days, I'll start putting up pictures along with my posts. Blogs are always more fun with pictures. I hope and pray everyone has a great weekend!!
Love always.
Other updates:
-I might get to go back to school in January!! This is wonderful news and I'm really excited to possibly have the opportunity to finish.
-Workout(s) this week were wonderful- It's an easy week. Basically, these weeks give my body a chance to rest/recover from the shock of running. Next week, it's back to the intensified intervals.
-Food: As soon as I sent that sample menu to you guys, I stopped following it. Bleh. I apologize and feel guilty for this. It seems that when I become confident in my ability to follow this, that is when I stumble. Christ is made perfect in my weakness (2 Cor. 12:9a). I cannot give up. Today I fit into a pair of pants that I haven't worn in over a year. I have no idea how much I've lost or if I have, but my clothes are fitting better. This is enough evidence for me!
One of these days, I'll start putting up pictures along with my posts. Blogs are always more fun with pictures. I hope and pray everyone has a great weekend!!
Love always.
Monday, June 11, 2012
Sweet Summer Health
So sorry about the hiatus...once again. My bad. I feel like I'm beginning every post this way. Terrible. Anywho, I hope everyone is doing well, and if not, I hope you remember how good and faithful our God is :) It's been a good past few weeks. For those that don't know I've started to see a nutritionist. She's awesome. She seemed to catch on to the fact immediately that I don't deal well with people telling me what to do and has so far let me determine what I should do....or at least she made me think I'm deciding all of it...oh, she's good! HA! So that's going well...no more late night milkshake runs..so that's an improvement. What's with the turn around you might ask? Well, the Word talks about the body quite a bit. It's not just something we have right now. It will in fact be with us forever, granted God will be redeeming it, but He has given us this 'vessel' to steward over. Why respect the body? Well for one God made it, and we should be respecting and honoring whatever God has made. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says, "Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body." Our bodies don't actually belong to us, they belong to the Lord. We have a responsibility to take care of them. Every time I eat healthy or exercise or make a good decision about what I put in my mouth, God sees this as beautiful worship. When put in this light, it's a little bit easier to do what I'm supposed to do and not just what I want. Along this same line, my friend Erin has written me a running training plan. Crazy right? I'll be running a 5K in September as long as I stick to it!! So excited. It's called The Color Run. Look it up...it's epic. I'm on Week 4 with this plan and I can definitely tell a difference!
Next up...something slightly off topic. My favorite reality show is on this summer: So You Think You Can Dance. So great! Watching last week, I was trying to figure out why I love it so much. I think it is because it's such a beautiful expression of art and I certainly appreciate art. Dancing is something I've wanted to do for awhile...and not just ballroom or swing, but something that is truly expressive. So many emotions and feelings can be expressed through dance. One of my dreams/goals for my healthy self is to learn some basic techniques of dance: ballet, maybe some contemporary, who knows? Seeing that beauty in dance and seeing how God has gifted certain individuals, truly makes me greatful of how creative our God is. Helps me understand more of who He is. Ok, ok, that's enough of my creativity tirade ;) I thought I'd end this post with a sampling of what I've been eating lately, just some of my normal dinners...in case you're wondering! :)
Love Always!
Monday: Chikfila Salad! (small group night)
Tuesday: Feta Burgers with Side Salad and corn
Wednesday: Baked Tilapia with Coleslaw and Quinua salad
Thursday: Whole Wheat Penne with Chicken, crushed tomatoes, and garlic sauce with salad
Friday: On the road (driving to see my Bro and SIL and Colton in Baltimore :))
Next up...something slightly off topic. My favorite reality show is on this summer: So You Think You Can Dance. So great! Watching last week, I was trying to figure out why I love it so much. I think it is because it's such a beautiful expression of art and I certainly appreciate art. Dancing is something I've wanted to do for awhile...and not just ballroom or swing, but something that is truly expressive. So many emotions and feelings can be expressed through dance. One of my dreams/goals for my healthy self is to learn some basic techniques of dance: ballet, maybe some contemporary, who knows? Seeing that beauty in dance and seeing how God has gifted certain individuals, truly makes me greatful of how creative our God is. Helps me understand more of who He is. Ok, ok, that's enough of my creativity tirade ;) I thought I'd end this post with a sampling of what I've been eating lately, just some of my normal dinners...in case you're wondering! :)
Love Always!
Monday: Chikfila Salad! (small group night)
Tuesday: Feta Burgers with Side Salad and corn
Wednesday: Baked Tilapia with Coleslaw and Quinua salad
Thursday: Whole Wheat Penne with Chicken, crushed tomatoes, and garlic sauce with salad
Friday: On the road (driving to see my Bro and SIL and Colton in Baltimore :))
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