Hiatus

2 almost whole months. Whoa. Sorry about that hiatus. Life has been a little crazy, but my mind is strangely blank when I try and think of an excuse as to why I haven't written. I feel like I've traveled a bit. I went to D.C./Baltimore and got visit my amazing bro and sis-in-law and awesome nephew. I went to the mountains with the ladies of my church. This weekend I'll be spending some time with the 'rents.

Sometimes, I feel like my life is in fast forward and sometimes in slow motion. Ever feel that way? These days it feels like I'm super busy all the time and yet can't wait to move on to the next thing. This is the Lord giving me opportunities to be patient, I think. At our retreat, we learned about what it means to Abide in Christ (John 15). That is the million dollar question right? If I were forced to name just one thing I learned from that teaching it would be that abiding happens in the everyday moments of life: how I react, think, do, or just be anything. And if you would allow me one more lesson....if/when we're being changed by Christ, we don't realize it. In fact, our reaction and attitude is quite the opposite. We understand more and more fully the picture of sin in our lives in comparison to the Holiness of the Lord and desire to be with Him all the more.

It's a beautiful thing to be torn up by the love of God and then to be put back together by it (thank you Shane and Shane).

Some of you are probably wondering about the Initiative. It's not been the best success, but it's not a failure because I haven't given up. This week I started a Fit Challenge at work. I'm on a team with 3 other co workers where we have to record our fruits/veggies, water intake, and exercise output. The winning team gets a massage after 6 weeks! So, that's been fun.
I've been toying with the idea of doing something like Take Shape For Life, which is what my good friends Megan and Diana have done. They have both had amazing success with this, but it is pricey. I'm going through different options and trying to figure out the best course. Suggestions are welcome. :)

I've started taking more photos!! This makes my heart happy. I was taking pictures at our women's retreat during worship and I got very emotional. It was a moment where I felt like I was doing EXACTLY what I was supposed to be doing. My heart was full and I was so satisfied in who the Lord is making me to be. It was a GOOD moment to say the least. I'm still working on editing those photos, but here's one from D.C.!



Love always.

Exasperated Sigh

Happy Wednesday friends. You may be asking, why so frustrated? I would answer that I'm not sure. It's just one of those days. Impatience rules in Jenny's world at the moment resulting in exasperations all over th place. Why the impatience? Many reasons. Being human is the primary reason. Yes, I'm frustrated with my human tendancies of inadequacy, laziness, and mediocrity. What am I doing about it? Honestly, not much. I like to rest in the fact that Jesus has done everything for me, but I hardly take the time to put to death the earthly flesh. I read this yesterday from Russell Moore's blog: "This is the reason why self-control is a fruit of the Spirit rather than an achievement of the flesh (Gal. 5:23). We want what we want. But the discipline of God teaches us, slowly, to put old appetites to death and to whet new ones. Through the Spirit, we learn to crucify “the flesh with its passions and desires” (Gal. 5:24)." So, the Spirit is our teacher. I'm behaving like a 4th grade student who doesn't want to pay attention in class. Cue the exasperated sigh.
So, impatience along with selfishness does not bode well for The Initiative. Evidently in the confusion of my scale, I have gained back 3 lbs. Boo. hiss. I know this comes back to food because I've been working out pretty consistently. Sometimes, I like to tell myself that if I had a family to take care of, I wouldn't be so selfish with my meal planning. There might be some truth to this, but I bet my married friends are laughing at the hilariouty of this right about NOW. The other side of this is that, well, I don't have a family to take care of so tough cookies. Deal with the selfishness. I'm always so hard on myself and God is so gentle with me. His grace overwhelms me. I hope that it overwhelms me even more so that I can respond in loving obedience to Him. [insert sigh.]

Happy Friday everyone. I don't know that I've ever been more excited that it's Friday. That's probably not true. The Friday before my Disney trip probably takes that prize. Anywho, I'm thankful for the upcoming weekend. There will not be much time to rest physically, but there will be time to rest in God and His Mission, pretty much my favorite place to be. My church is having their annual missions conference: Entermissions. 3 years ago I attended this for the first time and it is what sealed the deal for me at North Wake. I've always been in love with the Missio Dei and what that means for followers of Jesus. Granted, I just became a believer but I was raised in a home where the Mission of God took priority and that has had a lasting effect on my life. Now, more than ever it is personal for me. God has called his followers to take part in His Mission of bringing people of every tribe and nation to himself, to share in the blessings and love of our Father. I think one of my favorite things about this is that the many cultures of the world reflect the character of God. God is not American or white or middle class. He's not really defined by human cultures at all, but we can learn about parts of who He is by learning about other cultures. I love this. I love that Japanese people and those from Papua New Guinea or those from Tanzania or Scotland or Brazil- all these people are made in the image of God. Brings a huge smile to my heart and a contentment that I cannot explain.
Anyway, health update: 7 lbs. lost so far. This is not so great...considering it has been a month and a half. I think I'm gonna have to take this up a notch. Last night I had an awesome workout on a fancy new machine at the gym with my friend Megan. It's kind of like an elliptical/glider. It's nice and it gets my heart rate up without as much impact on my knees and ankles. Sweat was pouring. You're welcome.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and take note of God's unending grace in your lives. :)

Today is Valentine's day. I typically infamously loathe this day. Blech. I still do, but not quite as much. This is my first V Day as a Believer after all. God's love is more real to me today more than ever. I'm so grateful for the grace that God has given to me and I hope that I NEVER get over it.

Healthy Update: I forgot to weigh in this morning :/ I feel I should apologize for this. I'm sorry. I will do it tomorrow! I'm thinking there may not be much change. This weekend was a doozy food wise. I went out Saturday night with some friends and indulged in some pretty rich gourmet food. Exercising has been sporadic yet existent...so who knows? I'm still working on my schedule for this. I'd like to give a shout out to my Mama, who has been walking pretty consistently for awhile now! Go Mama! So proud.

I'm going to be updating again on Thursday or Friday with more concrete results. Until then please enjoy this video:

Good morning friends. I know it's been a little while since an update... so sorry. Last weekend I went down to Georgia to be with family. It was the best of times under the worst of circumstances. Words can truly not express how grateful I am for my precious family.

Being away from my normal routine presents itself with problems. I tried to make healthy decisions about food throughout. Unfortunately, I have not had the time as of late to exercise like I want to. I'm hoping to settle back in to my routine (with a few additions taking up some time ;)) and continue exercising. I have either lost a total of 6 1/2 or 10 lbs. My scale does not know which is true. I've just decided to wait until next week to weigh again, and maybe we'll have a more definitive answer.

The Lord continues to teach me patience over and over again through this. It seems that that is something that He will always teach me. I have the perfect example of patience in Him. I think I might have mentioned before that my church is walking through Deuteronomy this year. It seems a daunting task, but our leadership is wise and knows what we need. This past week we talked about trusting the Lord (of course), and how we respond when God says no to something we want. The example was Moses not going to the Promised Land. And Moses responds with understanding and obedience. He knows that God's good plan is greater that himself. I know these truths and I think most believers do, but it's much more difficult to live out that trust in everyday life. God has a beautiful wonderful plan for my life (my dad always tells me this) and anything I can imagine will not measure up to what He has for me. It may not be what I think is best and it may seem horrible at the time, but in the end it is always what is best for me.

All of that to say that I am continually blown away by God's grace. He has given me so many blessings- family, friends, church, job, and Jesus! I hope that we can all take time to thank him for his many gifts and reflect upon on good God is.

Well it's Tuesday. The last 5 days have been an emotional roller coaster for me. I won't go into everything on here, but I think some of the greatest pain I've experienced happens when someone I love is hurting. Example: My freshman year of college, my brother was hit head on by a drunk driver and was rushed to the hospital. When I found this out from my dad I went into the bathroom and threw up. (He's fine by the way, amazingly only broke his arm). Needless to say, my family is very important to me and would do just about anything for them.

So, with all the emotions running wild, I had a choice to make on how I was going to eat. There were some wrong choices made and some right ones. I was talking with my friend Megan last night about the mindset of getting healthy. Part of this mindset includes thinking ahead and realizing that the decisions you make today determine the outcome later on. Sounds simple. Very hard to implement to someone who is as self-centered as I am. I'm beginning to understand that my decisions have consequences. I think my next big hurdle is going to be self control. This has always been an issue for me...I tend to live excessively. Good news: God can actually overcome personalities and lifestyles. "[the young women are] to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled." Titus 2:4-5. What's the reasoning behind being self controlled and pure? So that God's word isn't reviled. So that God's glory is shown. So that God can use my life for His glory and not just in spite of me, but through me and for His glory. I so desire this to be true of my life.

In other news and truly by a miracle of the Lord, I have lost 2 lbs this week! This brings my grand total to 6 lbs lost...I'll take it :)

2nd Chances...and 3rd, and 4th, and 5th, and 6th....

I ordered pizza last night. It was bound to happen. Maybe now that it's out of the way I can move on? Or, that could be wishful thinking. I tend to give up before I even let myself succeed. I expect to fail and so I do. There is grace for failures. And today is a new day. I slept through breakfast this morning, but had a lovely giant salad at Panera before work.
I've gotten a nasty cold as well. The verdict is out about exercising while congested. No one really has a definitive answer on what to do. I haven't worked out the last 2 days.....so I guess that's how I answer that question.
I was trying to figure out what I'm so scared of. I think it's fear of failure. Which is ironic because that fear almost certainly leads to failure. Like last night. Last time I was serious about Weight Watchers, I lost about 15 lbs. and then I got sick. And I stopped. And I gained it all back. I don't want that to happen again. I want to be healthy and fit, and honestly in a place where I have no hang ups, no limitations as to what the Lord has asked me to do. I wish this desire would outweigh my desire for food.
I'm sorry that my last few posts have been Debbie Downers but I am simply trying to be honest. Not trying to fish for compliments or even encouragement. It's therapeutic to simply write out my thoughts because it forces me to face them. And when I face them, I'm almost always reminded of the Truth. Truth like this: "Then the word of the LORD came to Jonah the second time" Jonah 3:1. My dad told me this verse today, and it really encouraged me. God knew that Jonah was going to disobey him the first time, and He still chose to use Him and came to him a second time. Grace. Oh that I would be continually blown away by grace. I pray that you would be as well.